Everything is a blur.

As the title reads, "everything is a blur" I realize what is bothering me. The one person I thought I could trust slipped away from me. I don't like having a lot of people being near me. Everytime I am in track streching or warming up by jogging people will always come and talk to me with there friends and stuff, and I feel awkward, almost to say, "You don't know the real me so why are you talking to me about stuff that I don't understand" Is it normal to feel this way? Because now it just feels like I want to push people out of my life. I had the choice of going camping with my friends, but I passed that up because I had to go to track practice. I know they had so much fun. While I am stuck here trying to figure out what I can do with myself. I don't know where to go anymore to hide my pain. Everytime I go to the beach now it reminds me of all the good times that I can never have anymore. I can't just sit down and find comfort. I want to just get away somewhere, where there is no people so I can just figure out what I am trying to do. I guess being around people is fun sometimes, but not when I am trying to focus on stuff. Thats the only reason why I want to go away. So I can escape the insanity. =[