Everybody HURTS........
Earlier today on the Discussion Forum I read the Topic that Timeman had wrote. He was talking about how he was feeling about NOT being included in certain Family events. I SOOOOO understand how this feels. We always had Family Events that I was always asked to Please come to and bring my most AWESOME Potato Salad or ooey gooey Peanut Butter Fudge Brownies. I always had special Christmas stockings or Easter Baskets for my Niece and Nephew twins the kids of my brother and sister in-law. My stbx brother and I always had a great relationship. Being my stbx younger brother I watched this guy grow up from high school, to marriage to being a Father of his own. My older kids were in his wedding. His beautiful wife and I were always really close. The first month after he left they called me all the time to check on me and austin and shelby to see how we were all doing. They even told me how disappointed they were in him and that they were here for ME AND THE KIDS and that he was so LOST AND CONFUSED that I would just be so better off without him.
They really helped me in seeing that all this was not my fault and that he was the one with the PROBLEM and he would regret this for the rest of his life. Then they wanted me to just start focusing on MYSELF and stop worrying about what he was doing. For awhile I thought that our relationship would stay the same and I didn't loose then too along with my H. Well some time has passed now and I started to notice that they haven't called much. I chalked it off to both of them being real busy so I started calling and leaving messages because the twins birthday is coming up and I would like to take them on an Auntie movie day something I have done with them for years. After about a month I got a response that they are having the party at their house and could I DROP AUSTIN OFF???? I didn't understand???? Why am I not invited???? I was there when these kids were born I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
I called my Dad and told him how I was feeling that it is not fair that i'm black listed I was the one who did everything for thses kids their Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, even freakin Valentines day I always made them stuff. He NEVER did anything except ride on my coat tails and take half the credit. I called and left another message just explaining that I thought that was crap that I wasn't invited. My mother in law called me and tried to explain that it would just be UNCOMFORTABLE for the rest of the family. I said IT SHOULD BE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HIM!!!!! HE'S THE ONE WHO TORE OUR FAMILY APART BY HIS CHOICE HE SHOULD BE BLACK BALLED NOT ME!!!!! Anyway she said the kids really wanted me to come but if HE was going to be there it would be best if I didn;t stay. I will have Shelby drop off Austin I don't want to go over there now. I feel like I have done something wrong. My Dad told me that EVERYBODY IS HURTING. Not as much as you are honey but the whole family is effected and even though C has been your brother in law all these years he will always be W brother. Even though they are disappointed in him and don't understand why he did this they are still going to invite him before you always. He told me to get tougher skin and just bite the bullet they will see him fall on his face and make nothing of himself and there will be nothing they could do.
I was the one who always planned the family things ya know made sure his mom got birthday cards, christmas cards, pictures of their grand kids ect... I kept the lines of communication open all these years. Hell when I met him he hadn't even spoke to his parents in over a year because of some fight his dad and him had. I called his mom up and told her I would love to have them over for dinner because I loved her son and family meant the world to me. they came over and it allowed them to sit down and talk to him and they worked everything out. If I hadn't done that his parents would have missed out on alot of great family stuff. We all have a history together and now I feel like they just want to erase me from it. I didn't leave this family HE DID SO WHY AM I BEING PUSHED AWAY HE SHOULD BE TOLD NOT TO COME THAT HE ISN'T WELCOME HE LEFT.............
They really helped me in seeing that all this was not my fault and that he was the one with the PROBLEM and he would regret this for the rest of his life. Then they wanted me to just start focusing on MYSELF and stop worrying about what he was doing. For awhile I thought that our relationship would stay the same and I didn't loose then too along with my H. Well some time has passed now and I started to notice that they haven't called much. I chalked it off to both of them being real busy so I started calling and leaving messages because the twins birthday is coming up and I would like to take them on an Auntie movie day something I have done with them for years. After about a month I got a response that they are having the party at their house and could I DROP AUSTIN OFF???? I didn't understand???? Why am I not invited???? I was there when these kids were born I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
I called my Dad and told him how I was feeling that it is not fair that i'm black listed I was the one who did everything for thses kids their Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, even freakin Valentines day I always made them stuff. He NEVER did anything except ride on my coat tails and take half the credit. I called and left another message just explaining that I thought that was crap that I wasn't invited. My mother in law called me and tried to explain that it would just be UNCOMFORTABLE for the rest of the family. I said IT SHOULD BE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HIM!!!!! HE'S THE ONE WHO TORE OUR FAMILY APART BY HIS CHOICE HE SHOULD BE BLACK BALLED NOT ME!!!!! Anyway she said the kids really wanted me to come but if HE was going to be there it would be best if I didn;t stay. I will have Shelby drop off Austin I don't want to go over there now. I feel like I have done something wrong. My Dad told me that EVERYBODY IS HURTING. Not as much as you are honey but the whole family is effected and even though C has been your brother in law all these years he will always be W brother. Even though they are disappointed in him and don't understand why he did this they are still going to invite him before you always. He told me to get tougher skin and just bite the bullet they will see him fall on his face and make nothing of himself and there will be nothing they could do.
I was the one who always planned the family things ya know made sure his mom got birthday cards, christmas cards, pictures of their grand kids ect... I kept the lines of communication open all these years. Hell when I met him he hadn't even spoke to his parents in over a year because of some fight his dad and him had. I called his mom up and told her I would love to have them over for dinner because I loved her son and family meant the world to me. they came over and it allowed them to sit down and talk to him and they worked everything out. If I hadn't done that his parents would have missed out on alot of great family stuff. We all have a history together and now I feel like they just want to erase me from it. I didn't leave this family HE DID SO WHY AM I BEING PUSHED AWAY HE SHOULD BE TOLD NOT TO COME THAT HE ISN'T WELCOME HE LEFT.............
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