Every day without him, is just one day closer to being with him.
It's weird how life moves on even without him. I feel like everything should stop because he's not here. But I get up everyday, work, watch our little girl, go shopping, do everyday normal things like my world hasn't been torn apart. And most days I do great, I don't cry, I actually laugh some. The other night though my brain played a horrible trick on me. I woke up in the night and in the faint light from the moon, the pillows beside me looked like him, like he was sleeping right beside me and I instinctually moved to get closer to him as though I were going to lay my head on his shoulder. Then I realized that it wasn't him, that it wouldn't be him for another 21 months. It was the worst I've felt since I dropped him off.
Besides that stupid night, life has been ok. I'm keeping busy, still need to do my taxes. Should probably get that done today...
And this Saturday his parents, our baby, and I are going to surprise him. I told him that I wouldn't be able to get to see him till the end of this month at the earliest. But his mom got off of work and his dad has weekends off so we are making the trek to OKC.
I love that he will be staying at the transfer center the entire time because it's the closest to us but at the same time I hate it for him. Since it's the transfer center, there aren't any classes for him to take, they outdoor area is minimal, and he complains about how bored he is. He's been reading books nonstop, beside working veggie prep. I think he said he's up 20 books or so in the almost 8 weeks he's been there. And he wants me to send him a french book so he can learn french. What gets me are the books he's reading. He's read books on Judaism and Islam to learn more about each religion so he can have informed discussions. But the fiction books I laughed so hard when he told me what his read. Confessions of a Shopaholic, Devil Wears Prada, Memoirs of a Geisha (which I tried to get him to watch several times), the Sookie Stackhouse novels. He's hated all but the Geisha one. But he said he's got nothing else to do so he's going to finish each book he picks up. I said that he's going to have read more than me. I want to read all of Kurt Vonnegut books and so I may order two at a time and send one to him and one to me so we can have our own little book club.
I keep talking to him daily. Some days are only 5 minutes but I think we've gone over on some days so our little calendar for phone calls is probably off. There will be a few days that we may not get to talk. But I hope that my letters and our conversations will keep him grounded and help him stay the same (well as close to the same as can be).
Besides that stupid night, life has been ok. I'm keeping busy, still need to do my taxes. Should probably get that done today...
And this Saturday his parents, our baby, and I are going to surprise him. I told him that I wouldn't be able to get to see him till the end of this month at the earliest. But his mom got off of work and his dad has weekends off so we are making the trek to OKC.
I love that he will be staying at the transfer center the entire time because it's the closest to us but at the same time I hate it for him. Since it's the transfer center, there aren't any classes for him to take, they outdoor area is minimal, and he complains about how bored he is. He's been reading books nonstop, beside working veggie prep. I think he said he's up 20 books or so in the almost 8 weeks he's been there. And he wants me to send him a french book so he can learn french. What gets me are the books he's reading. He's read books on Judaism and Islam to learn more about each religion so he can have informed discussions. But the fiction books I laughed so hard when he told me what his read. Confessions of a Shopaholic, Devil Wears Prada, Memoirs of a Geisha (which I tried to get him to watch several times), the Sookie Stackhouse novels. He's hated all but the Geisha one. But he said he's got nothing else to do so he's going to finish each book he picks up. I said that he's going to have read more than me. I want to read all of Kurt Vonnegut books and so I may order two at a time and send one to him and one to me so we can have our own little book club.
I keep talking to him daily. Some days are only 5 minutes but I think we've gone over on some days so our little calendar for phone calls is probably off. There will be a few days that we may not get to talk. But I hope that my letters and our conversations will keep him grounded and help him stay the same (well as close to the same as can be).
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