even though...
Even though I know to expect ups and downs
Even though I know an addict is always an addict
Even though I know depression is the root of his problems
Even though i know some people beat the odds
Even though I had finally stopped panicking that a call from him meant something bad
Even though I will always love him
It feels like slamming into a wall and my heart stops and I cry on and off at random triggers because he has has gone down the rabbit hole again and is in darkness he feels trapped in and nothing I can say or do convinces him that there can be hope.
Even though I know an addict is always an addict
Even though I know depression is the root of his problems
Even though i know some people beat the odds
Even though I had finally stopped panicking that a call from him meant something bad
Even though I will always love him
It feels like slamming into a wall and my heart stops and I cry on and off at random triggers because he has has gone down the rabbit hole again and is in darkness he feels trapped in and nothing I can say or do convinces him that there can be hope.
Replies
Yes, that\'s exactly how it\'s going to feel for a long while. But I promise it will get better. The crying fits won\'t come as often, other thoughts will crowd your brain, and though the shadow of his condition will always be there, there\'ll be very brief moments of sunshine that you will grow to appreciate like never before and that you\'ll hold on to for dear life. I am overwhelmed by thoughts about my son\'s future and have to fight hard not to let these thoughts color everything in my immediate life...and in his. This is a rough road we\'re all in. I\'m sorry you have to go down it.