Eve of Destruction

Dearest,
      A great wave of sadness descended on me last night. It was like a huge black cloud that just lowered from the night sky and devoured me. I don't know why, so many factors. Sindhu called and asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving. A last minute invitation that wasn't really an invitation at all, she must have felt guilty. I was reading posts from others who were moving on, building new relationships, starting new lives. I don't want to move on, I want what I had, I want what was. I don't care if it's unreasonable, I've always been unreasonable. I realized that all of our friends were couples and mostly younger than us. They've scattered like the leaves. My head hurts, I don't want to think. My stomach hurts, I don't want to eat. My sinuses are killing me, I don't want to cry. The house is cold, not by the thermostat, it's the normal temperature, but it feels cold to me. I just want to go back to normal but I've lost my way. I can't find my way back. I'm having a terrible time trying to type tonight. I think I'll just go to bed.
Till we meet again, Your Ken