Eureka!

I managed to make it thru the weekend ok.  Saturday I went and cashed my coffee can coins in and went thrifting for items I needed for the house.  I finally found that shower curtain rod and rings all for $6!  Sunday, we went and ran some errands and picked up some stuff we needed (weatherstripping etc).  I've had that shower curtain for a month now and just seemed to hit a road block with furnishing the house.  With me not sure I had made a correct decision with the relationship and moving in, I had to put things on hold and work thru those feelings.  The talk I had with my ex gave me the clarity and closure I needed to move forward with the relationship and house I'm in now.  When you can smile to yourself and wish your ex best of luck in life and love, then you know you made the right choice.  

No words to say how conflicted my heart and head have been with each other but I think they finally had a meeting of the minds.  I have been watching alot of tarot card readings on Youtube lately which I don't think have helped things.  Instead of listening to them this morning, I started listening to a motivational speaker.  This morning a phrase he used stuck out in my mind and that is "Quick fixes increase damage".  When I look back I can see how I'd quickly jump into relationship after relationship thinking that each one would finally solve things.  By doing so, I was too busy trying to makes things work hoping I was with the right person that I failed to fix the problem  (ME).  It's not unlike what I just recently did with the ex, pinning my hopes that the ex would be the right one and contemplating jumping from my current to him just to be happy.  I need to fix ME.  I need to stop thinking the next best thing will fix ME. It's a epiphany.  Eureka!