Errr

I am writing because I am really struggling... I was really missing home so I went tovisit my family and friends. Had a really rough ride home. Got a speeding ticket on the way home for $213 and then took the wrong exit and went 30 miles out of the way (paid for 4 extra tolls). I was so happy to be spending time with my parents and friends. I got teary eyed in almost everything I did. I went see friends in the town I lived in before I moved away. It was so sad, I really honestly miss it(and I hate to admit it). Now today is the day I have to leave. I have been on the verge of tears all day. I want to stay, but I have obligations tomorrow. I had a really hard time being here because I went out to eat for every meal. I overate every meal, I picked at junk that was at my parents etc. I feel sick because I have over eaten so much. I cant tell what I am more upset about. Leaving to go home or that I ate. I will be back in 3 weeks for thanksgiving. I will also be back again for a month for christmas.  For the 1st time in 3 years my whole family will be together. I get sappy about it.... we are very disfunctional- but thats how we function and I miss it.
Theres something about being so far away from home. I cryed the other night as I was falling asleep because I thought that maybe I should move back- its only 6 months I have been gone I know I need to give it more of a chance. It just really hurts- ughhhh... I just have all these feelings and I dont know how to put them together to make sense of them. I dont even think they make sense. I dont know what to do... so I just cry and cry.