ER Day Has Arrived

Finally made it home last night after an exhausting day with the client of walking/standing on concrete and uneven terrain.  I was feeling that my RE should have given me a very large valium to ensure a good night's sleep.  I was well on my way when I was woken by a helicopter flying overhead and tons of police officers searching for someone.  One of the wonderful things about living in LA, no matter how nice an area there can still be issues/problems such as this.  I'm not sure whether or not they caught the individual(s) but I must admit I was much more concerned with the disturbance of my sleep.  Wasn't able to get back into it so I have been up working and messing about since 2 a..m.  Bastards!  As if I wasn't grumpy enough. DH woke up as well and he had the wonderful idea of grabbing something to eat along with a glass of wine.  Nothing of which I can have.  In all my wisdom I am thinking to myself, "what an ass!"  But, in all actuality, it is me who is being selfish and downright bitchy.  One thing though...right now, I don't really care.  I just really need a cup of coffee but oh, wait, today is ER day and I can't have anything after midnight.   I knew there was at least one more reason I deserved a very large valium.   Well, I am trying not to stress and think the unpleasant thoughts of "what if they don't get ANY eggs," "what if the eggs that they do get are so old, that they can't be used," and so forth.  All of which brings me back again, uh, why did I wait so long to do this.  Why was I chasing everything else such as a career, traveling, etc.  Sometimes I feel like I have made my own bed and/or caused my own IF by wanting other things in life that shouldn't matter.   I was reading postings last night/this morning and saw the Amilee's and Dulcy's BFP's didn't work out and it truly broke my heart.  I see other women's/friend's cycles cancels, feel the their pain in the words that they write and it is just so crushing.  You wish that there was something you could do...for all of us...IF no more!   It is funny though...  This website has become such a place of solace and comfort.  When I am feeling lonely, all I need to do is turn on my laptop and all the ladies are right there.   Well, I've gotten walk K2 and wake the DH. Lauri  ;)