Entry one of many
It's four thirty in the morning, and like every good bipolar I am up and perky LOL, that's not the case. I actually am up as a side effect of a medication. I use a fentanyl patch for pain, and the night after I put it on I do not sleep, no matter what I try to do. So I have learned to make productive use of the time ((why not?). Later on, around two in the afternoon, I will take a nap for a while.
Coming to the site has coincided with a metamorphosis in my life. Up until 1/21/14 I was on Abilify for bipolar depression, and for me is was really "DIS-Abilify," as it made me depressed, run down and large (I am five foot three and I weighed 196 when I stopped using it. I stopped taking it because I was having to take two diuretics to manage the water gain, and it was still not effective. Almost immediately after stopping the medication I began to feel more hopeful.
Now my weight is down to 178, and still losing. My cholesterol, which had been high, has come down. I need less medication for my thyroid disease, too.
I had been battling what I thought was agoraphobia. I could not manage to get myself to leave the house. The idea of going to the store frightened me so much, we began getting the groceries delivered. And now, I am planning to go to the store next week, for the first time in years. I am in recovery, and I had been going to online meetings for I don't know how long. But today I am planning a trip to a real in person meeting! I have gone from a human "be-ing to a human do-ing!
I was very inactive before, I lived in my arm chair. Now, without even leaving the house, I average over 6,000 steps a day. I have just finished writing my goals, and I will be having 45 minute walks at least three times a week. I have a cat stroller, and I put my Brego in it and take him with me for company. He enjoys the stroller so much that when it is in the house and I leave it open, he sleeps in it.
My Brego, a "tuxedo" cat, is just over three years old. As I write this he is in his little bed on the floor next to my computer. I used to keep his treats in a drawer near me, until he figured out how to open the drawer. His name comes from the book "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" The man who will end up king has a horse named Brego, and he says of the horse, "Thy name is Kingly." Brego is a very smart boy-cat, and very large and muscular at fifteen and a half pounds. Someday when I become tech savvy, I will use his picture for my picture here.
I was just in the hospital, as you know, but I am doing so much better now, I feel great. I have a nurse coming to see me on Monday. But I don't think I will be having her come very much longer, as I am doing so well. I know in AA step 7 it talks about humility, but I think it is okay to be a little bit proud of myself at this point. I have done a great job getting back on my feet.
Spring cleaning is on my list of goals. I have come up with a great plan for keeping myself accountable with my goals; a percentage checklist. I have assigned everything points. And as I do my chores, I rack up the points, and at the end of the day, I give myself a percentage score, a grade. For someone like me, this will work wonderfully well. I am very excited about it and can hardly wait to try it out. I would start now, but it is quiet time, and I think I will wait until later to start my housework.
All in all, this year is turning out marvelously, despite a couple of medical setbacks. Day by day, I am getting back on my feet, and I think I owe a bunch of it to: a book.
I have a book called "Pathways to Recovery" which has been through any printings for about ten years. It was serendipity that led me to it at just this time. It is for those who have had a mental health setback. It is four hundred pages long; quite an investment of time, but well worth it if you ask me. It was only twenty dollars. There is no talk of medications or specific mental illnesses. Instead, it talks about coming up with goals to get back on track in mental health and regular life, and I love this book. So far it has helped me more than words can say. Right now I am in a section called "turnaround." It talks about life turnaround, taking a new direction: how appropriate. I can't wait to see what comes next in the book. It is designed to be written in (which I think is neat because I love to write in my books). Every page has a quote or two for inspiration. Every chapter has an index of resources. It is available on Amazon.
So today I am going to take a bath, do the laundry and do a general cleaning-quickie. I am going to work on my book, write a letter or two, go to my favorite recovery sites online, and talk to a recovery friend. And tonight: The meeting!
Coming to the site has coincided with a metamorphosis in my life. Up until 1/21/14 I was on Abilify for bipolar depression, and for me is was really "DIS-Abilify," as it made me depressed, run down and large (I am five foot three and I weighed 196 when I stopped using it. I stopped taking it because I was having to take two diuretics to manage the water gain, and it was still not effective. Almost immediately after stopping the medication I began to feel more hopeful.
Now my weight is down to 178, and still losing. My cholesterol, which had been high, has come down. I need less medication for my thyroid disease, too.
I had been battling what I thought was agoraphobia. I could not manage to get myself to leave the house. The idea of going to the store frightened me so much, we began getting the groceries delivered. And now, I am planning to go to the store next week, for the first time in years. I am in recovery, and I had been going to online meetings for I don't know how long. But today I am planning a trip to a real in person meeting! I have gone from a human "be-ing to a human do-ing!
I was very inactive before, I lived in my arm chair. Now, without even leaving the house, I average over 6,000 steps a day. I have just finished writing my goals, and I will be having 45 minute walks at least three times a week. I have a cat stroller, and I put my Brego in it and take him with me for company. He enjoys the stroller so much that when it is in the house and I leave it open, he sleeps in it.
My Brego, a "tuxedo" cat, is just over three years old. As I write this he is in his little bed on the floor next to my computer. I used to keep his treats in a drawer near me, until he figured out how to open the drawer. His name comes from the book "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" The man who will end up king has a horse named Brego, and he says of the horse, "Thy name is Kingly." Brego is a very smart boy-cat, and very large and muscular at fifteen and a half pounds. Someday when I become tech savvy, I will use his picture for my picture here.
I was just in the hospital, as you know, but I am doing so much better now, I feel great. I have a nurse coming to see me on Monday. But I don't think I will be having her come very much longer, as I am doing so well. I know in AA step 7 it talks about humility, but I think it is okay to be a little bit proud of myself at this point. I have done a great job getting back on my feet.
Spring cleaning is on my list of goals. I have come up with a great plan for keeping myself accountable with my goals; a percentage checklist. I have assigned everything points. And as I do my chores, I rack up the points, and at the end of the day, I give myself a percentage score, a grade. For someone like me, this will work wonderfully well. I am very excited about it and can hardly wait to try it out. I would start now, but it is quiet time, and I think I will wait until later to start my housework.
All in all, this year is turning out marvelously, despite a couple of medical setbacks. Day by day, I am getting back on my feet, and I think I owe a bunch of it to: a book.
I have a book called "Pathways to Recovery" which has been through any printings for about ten years. It was serendipity that led me to it at just this time. It is for those who have had a mental health setback. It is four hundred pages long; quite an investment of time, but well worth it if you ask me. It was only twenty dollars. There is no talk of medications or specific mental illnesses. Instead, it talks about coming up with goals to get back on track in mental health and regular life, and I love this book. So far it has helped me more than words can say. Right now I am in a section called "turnaround." It talks about life turnaround, taking a new direction: how appropriate. I can't wait to see what comes next in the book. It is designed to be written in (which I think is neat because I love to write in my books). Every page has a quote or two for inspiration. Every chapter has an index of resources. It is available on Amazon.
So today I am going to take a bath, do the laundry and do a general cleaning-quickie. I am going to work on my book, write a letter or two, go to my favorite recovery sites online, and talk to a recovery friend. And tonight: The meeting!
Replies
Yep-might as well make use of your time huh-and it went to good use..sorry you couldn\'t sleep though-I know the feeling! And you were even nice and let tuxedo sleep :)
Sounds like you\'ve got a good plan on getting better! My ex used to use fetanyl patches. He had a back operation that didn\'t help. Seems like he was a little bit hyper when he used them. I\'m going to get that book. I write all in my books too. I\'m not very tech savy either. I\'m trying to learn to do something new everyday to learn. I have a friend that helped me with my avatar. Great to read your first journal entry!
Very good. My vice is addiction to caffeine. Tough finding a support group for it. That book you mentioned might help me in coming to terms with it. Can you recommend a book to teach the 12 steps?
Wow, Ayla....you knock my socks off! I\'m so glad you have that book for inspiration. It\'s daily encouragement served on a silver platter. You\'ve been through some tough battles and you still appear optimistic. Sorry you can\'t sleep, but happy to learn of your weight loss. Keep going....one foot in front of the other. Get outside and let people meet this lovely lady filled with determination. :-)