Entry for July 26, 2009

J was scheduled to come back from a trip in the early afternoon this day. I had committed to a workshop at church for the afternoon and didn't know that he was going to get home so early until the day before he came home. I told him about my committment at church and that it would be later before we got home (I thought maybe 2 or 2:30 pm) but would let him know when we were on our way.  I told him to be safe driving to the airport the next day and I would talk to him later.  I sent him a text around 12:30 pm (he had just sent me one letting me know he had landed safely) that we were just getting ready to begin and would call or txt when coming home.   The workshop started a little late and ran over until about 3 pm. I was totally enthralled by the content and really learned a lot.  It was focused on how to work with children with autism to integrate them into the Sunday School program, as I am a SS aide.  I called him as we were on the way to the car, a little after 3 pm, as we were coming home.  He was pretty short with me, but noting outrageous.  Him: "a 3 hour church meeting?" me: "yes, it lasted 2 1/2 hours and I learned a lot.  We are coming home now and I'll see you soon."  Him: "sigh... Alright then..." Then he hung up without another word.  After that, the nauseous pit formed in my stomach because it was his non-verbal sign to me that he was displeased, so I found myself bracing for the worst. I was a complete bundle of nerves until I got home. I had promised P that he could get McDonalds for lunch (even though they fed us @ church). We stopped by the drive thru and got his Happy Meal then headed home.  He took his food upstairs, and greeted his Dad. J saw the food and asked if we were fed at church. P said, "yes. but I only ate a snack because I was gettign McDonalds."  Was J trying to trap me in a lie?  I'll never know because he acted like all was well when he saw me. All that anxiety and stress for nothing!! I wish I could live my life without living in fear each day!