enmeshment
http://www.familycenterweb.org/index.php/ask-the-experts/42-all/246-coping-with-your-enmeshed-family
Many of us come from enmeshed families in which the boundaries are skewed and all members are a part of the pie, so to speak, as opposed to individual slices within the pie. Members of these families look to one another for insight regarding who they are becoming, as opposed to looking within.
If one is not separate, how can one determine, distinguish their own individuality or place in the world? Regarding the holidays, with regards to a parent, often there is an ongoing assumption, "If I want it this way, my child should want to please me".
Enmeshment is very difficult to see when one is in it. Members share in the dysfunction to cope with the fragility of their family. These families attempt to find strength in numbers and cope by fusing members together. Sadly, this often results in shame, blame, and criticism. Justification and rationalization and an individual's lost sense of self.
These families, on the surface look similar to outsiders, yet are quite different. Nurturing families empower members to have a strong sense of self. Members are loved without losing their identity. In enmeshed families, children are loved often at the expense of their own identity. Parents often depend upon their children to define them, make them whole, to find happiness in their children as opposed to within themselves.
Many of us come from enmeshed families in which the boundaries are skewed and all members are a part of the pie, so to speak, as opposed to individual slices within the pie. Members of these families look to one another for insight regarding who they are becoming, as opposed to looking within.
If one is not separate, how can one determine, distinguish their own individuality or place in the world? Regarding the holidays, with regards to a parent, often there is an ongoing assumption, "If I want it this way, my child should want to please me".
Enmeshment is very difficult to see when one is in it. Members share in the dysfunction to cope with the fragility of their family. These families attempt to find strength in numbers and cope by fusing members together. Sadly, this often results in shame, blame, and criticism. Justification and rationalization and an individual's lost sense of self.
These families, on the surface look similar to outsiders, yet are quite different. Nurturing families empower members to have a strong sense of self. Members are loved without losing their identity. In enmeshed families, children are loved often at the expense of their own identity. Parents often depend upon their children to define them, make them whole, to find happiness in their children as opposed to within themselves.
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