End the sadness....

It's coming up on a year since I have seen my daughter and grandson. They still won't talk to me. No call on Mother's day and no way to give my grandson gifts on his birthday or see him eat cake. I am so sad. I don't even know anymore how to not cry all the time. The more time that goes by is just my life that has no happiness. No excitement. It's hard to not be depressed and distant from reality. The sadness and emptiness in my heart feels like prison. My heart is being held hostage by sadness. I am drowning in an ocean of sadness and I feel like I am choking slowly to death. As the sadness consumes me I pray. Pray, pray, pray. I pray all the time. I know I am suppose to believe that God will answer my prayers and I do know that he will. It is just so hard to be positive when everything around me is so negative. I am still trying though the devil keeps trying to take over. I will not allow him to win. I know God will end this torture soon. I have to just keep believing. Thank you God for the hugs. And thank you Jesus for always being here with me. Feels good to vent.