End of The Line.
Today was the day of days. It officially put things in perspective for me. I see now that no one will respect your wishes I it doesn't benefit them and I have done all that I am willing to do at this point. Life will be drastically different for me from now on and I have to live with that because I put myself here.
1. She got an attitude with me this morning because things weren't working out for her financially. I tried to show er the positive side of the situation and that upset her more because she felt I was downplaying the severity of tw situation as relevant to her life. I made a little money and I offered to cover the difference of what she owed just to help elevaiate some of her stress and apparently that was the wrong answer too. Because she shouldn't need myomere she should be able to make her own. I uses to be really big on the yours and mine thing too but with time I have learned the value of teamwork and partnership which I actually learned during our time apart. She had the nerve to ask me what team so my question is why are we together then?
2. At 1 am she gets a phone call from jail. A guy she use to mess with I expressed my discomforts with him being around both past and present concerns. Not only did she say its too bad I have a problem with him being around she proceeded to take the next call from him . Not how dare you disrespect me in my face like that. I have a temper and tried to take the phone (after attempting to talk it out with her where she proceeded to say fuck me and how I feel she can do what's she wants) and that lead to an all out tussle in which I sat on her to restrain her. She not me, pinched me and punched me and she had the nerve to get the cops. She left naked wrapped in a towel then took my car CIA she didn't have hers, went and got the cops brought them back to the house to grab some things. They proceeded to take my license which is apparently suspended so now I'm 7 months pregnant with a 20 month old and no identification. The messed up part is that upon explaining to the 3 police officers that felt like they needed to come to my house what went down and why they couldn't believe HER cu the level of disrespect was off the charts. Smh.
3. She was the one "assaulted" as far as what she told the cops, but I have all the cuts, bites and bleeding. Pregnant and haven't seen a doctor in months so I'm hoping everything is okay. Everything feels the same but I will have to keep my eyes open for any changes. Just in case. Smh this is exhausting.
Everything she has ever has to complain about as far as our relationship goes I have tried to fix. To show and prove but every time things start getting good she finds a way to mess it up. She either starts drama or brings up old drama and all I want to do is start fresh. We have a new baby on the way and I refuse to still be fighting the same battles then that we were before. It is clear that she isn't interested in moving foreword or she isn't ready to do so and the funny thing about relationships are that they take more than one person.
Idk wth she wants and I'm tired of trying to decipher the code. She has too many secrets that get in the way. She isn't comfortable opening up yet that was one of the main issues she had with me. She made a big deal about her phone cuz it's stuff in it she doesn't want me to see..... Who had time for that. I know couples that share a phone!?! That's the kind of love and trust that I want and I'm willing to work towards it but I can't do it alone and I'm damn sure tired of trying.
At this point she can keep her friends since they are more important to her than I. She can keep her phone and soon enough I will have my own to give her the loaner back. I'm going to try to find a job that I can do this far in my pregnancy so I can get my finances straight and I guess figure out what's going on with my license so I can get that back. She claims she is not like the rest but every chance she gets she shows glimmers of them. Smh I'm not surprised though its not like I didn't already know! This isn't the first instance of us getting into it because she can't let go I people then brings up my mess ups as justifications for her actions. I need someone that knows that I am not perfect, accepts their own flaws and is willing to work together to make things better. I'm under the impression that this clearly isn't that situation and maybe it's time I stop trying to force someone into something they clearly don't want to be in.
So as of today it's official, I gracefully back down and bow out. It will take some act of GOD to change my mind this time smh.
1. She got an attitude with me this morning because things weren't working out for her financially. I tried to show er the positive side of the situation and that upset her more because she felt I was downplaying the severity of tw situation as relevant to her life. I made a little money and I offered to cover the difference of what she owed just to help elevaiate some of her stress and apparently that was the wrong answer too. Because she shouldn't need myomere she should be able to make her own. I uses to be really big on the yours and mine thing too but with time I have learned the value of teamwork and partnership which I actually learned during our time apart. She had the nerve to ask me what team so my question is why are we together then?
2. At 1 am she gets a phone call from jail. A guy she use to mess with I expressed my discomforts with him being around both past and present concerns. Not only did she say its too bad I have a problem with him being around she proceeded to take the next call from him . Not how dare you disrespect me in my face like that. I have a temper and tried to take the phone (after attempting to talk it out with her where she proceeded to say fuck me and how I feel she can do what's she wants) and that lead to an all out tussle in which I sat on her to restrain her. She not me, pinched me and punched me and she had the nerve to get the cops. She left naked wrapped in a towel then took my car CIA she didn't have hers, went and got the cops brought them back to the house to grab some things. They proceeded to take my license which is apparently suspended so now I'm 7 months pregnant with a 20 month old and no identification. The messed up part is that upon explaining to the 3 police officers that felt like they needed to come to my house what went down and why they couldn't believe HER cu the level of disrespect was off the charts. Smh.
3. She was the one "assaulted" as far as what she told the cops, but I have all the cuts, bites and bleeding. Pregnant and haven't seen a doctor in months so I'm hoping everything is okay. Everything feels the same but I will have to keep my eyes open for any changes. Just in case. Smh this is exhausting.
Everything she has ever has to complain about as far as our relationship goes I have tried to fix. To show and prove but every time things start getting good she finds a way to mess it up. She either starts drama or brings up old drama and all I want to do is start fresh. We have a new baby on the way and I refuse to still be fighting the same battles then that we were before. It is clear that she isn't interested in moving foreword or she isn't ready to do so and the funny thing about relationships are that they take more than one person.
Idk wth she wants and I'm tired of trying to decipher the code. She has too many secrets that get in the way. She isn't comfortable opening up yet that was one of the main issues she had with me. She made a big deal about her phone cuz it's stuff in it she doesn't want me to see..... Who had time for that. I know couples that share a phone!?! That's the kind of love and trust that I want and I'm willing to work towards it but I can't do it alone and I'm damn sure tired of trying.
At this point she can keep her friends since they are more important to her than I. She can keep her phone and soon enough I will have my own to give her the loaner back. I'm going to try to find a job that I can do this far in my pregnancy so I can get my finances straight and I guess figure out what's going on with my license so I can get that back. She claims she is not like the rest but every chance she gets she shows glimmers of them. Smh I'm not surprised though its not like I didn't already know! This isn't the first instance of us getting into it because she can't let go I people then brings up my mess ups as justifications for her actions. I need someone that knows that I am not perfect, accepts their own flaws and is willing to work together to make things better. I'm under the impression that this clearly isn't that situation and maybe it's time I stop trying to force someone into something they clearly don't want to be in.
So as of today it's official, I gracefully back down and bow out. It will take some act of GOD to change my mind this time smh.
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