end of the line

well the cycle continues, the last few times recently that I have screwed up and went to the casino I actually won, and I knew that by winning I was just being sucked in... nobody can quit gambling after a big win, you are only renting the money from them, they get it back plus interest every time.
 
so, getting that loss out of the way now, (without doing anything too damaging thankfully, I was very close to doing damage I wouldnt be able to recover from) I need to now refocus and try twice as hard, remembering the lessons not that winning is possible but that losing it back is a GUARANTEE... it will be VERY difficult, I know this. The winning is still buzzing and feels just out of reach, ever so close just never quite there... and that is the tease that keeps sucking us dry.
I think I will start a new goal, this one doesn't seem to be working for me, I need a new goal and a new reason...