End of Day 1/3/2014

So overall today wasn't too bad. The chronic pain flaired up a few times today but overall its been mild. Not exactly what I would want but it's better then being full blown pain.
Mentally I'm still doing okay. El Fudge cookies seem to help :)
I'm a bit worried about my doc appointment Tuesday. I'm afraid that either he will have no answers for relief or tell me he thinks it's something more serious and ship me off for God know what kind of tests.
I know I shouldn't assume things but it just seems like it's one negative report after another. At some point the winds of fate will have to shift in my direction at some point...right?I have to believe something good will eventually happen with this chronic pain. Some relief would be nice.
I guess I'll play tomorrow by ear. I want to lift weights. Other then that I'm not sure. Once again my life is dictated by my chronic pain. For now this is my life.
I hope my mental state can stay even. I can't deal with both the physical and mental pain at the same time like I had been. That was a bit more then I could handle.
I remember how much I used to look forward to weekends. Now they are just another day. I'm not sure what I should be looking forward to. Maybe feeling better one day....