Emptiness

When does it stop the pain of feeling completely  horrible about life about love about happiness .. the feeling of being alone sucks more then ever before. the people in my life have always gone away. I really don't understand, am I that bad of a person that I don't deserve happiness. Why is the world so full of hatered? why is it  I can't just have one person in my life that won't give up on me?  Even here people leave all the time but yet I'm searching for an answer. Do i not matter? I'm not perfect and I'm the first to admit how not perfect I am. But I try to be a good person. If I could have one wish in life it would be to have someone to love me unconditionally for the rest of my life no matter what life throws our way just not give up on me. However wishes are just dreams and dreams don't come true this not a story book and there is no happy ending to be found it's an endless chapter called the book of life. I feel I'm at the final pages and deep inside I'm not sure if I have the strength for another chapter. But yet for some reason I'm still here holding to what I'm not sure and for how long?