emotions i feel all the time

irritated    ~that i cant help myself insulted    ~that people think i dnt want to be betteraggressive    ~unfortunatly im very aggressive toward myselfdissapointed    ~in myselfpowerless   ~to stop how i feelguilty    ~i make my friends feel the way they domiserable     ~generallydespair     ~that i cant compete with the person i want to begloomy     ~generallyupset     ~why are people so mean especially when they dont realise they areuncertain   ~or myself and the futureshy       ~always have been always will beembarrased     ~to feel the way i dopessimistic     ~ im a pessimist :(uneasy     ~dnt understandtense   ~ just in my natureunsure  ~ of what to do and the futurelost     ~in myself and in the worldincapable    ~or helpingalone    ~no brothers no sisters and my friend aren't thereuseless   ~can help myselfvulnerable   ~easily upset by anythingempty    ~dont know how to feel anymoreforced    ~to feel betterhesitant    ~to tell the truthfrustrated    ~do they understand?distressed   ~generallypathetic   ~why do people affect me so much?lifeless   ~what do i do?preoccupied    ~my thoughtsweary   ~tired of feeling this wayterrified   ~of what i could dosuspicious  ~or what people say behind my backanxious    ~CAMHS and futurenervous    ~everythingscared   ~or what i might doworried    ~can i trust myself?frightened    ~always have been since i was a childtimid   ~ toward peopleshaky   ~when im on my ownrestless   ~bored?crushed   ~by my friendspained   ~by the way i feel morning noon and nightdejected   ~by tashrejected   ~by tashtearful     ~all the time but trying to stopgrief   ~ <3desolate    ~lost and alone in the desert of eternitydeperate   ~ to feel vaguely "normal"unhappy   ~all the timelonely    ~ i can be surrounded by a room of people and still free completely alone