emotionally wiped out
i find myself struggling because i really want and need friends right now but get so scared to get attached. i was so sad today my sister called me told me a friend of ours was in hospital because of chest pains. i was so pissed and hurt it was she that called and not my ex girlfriend that is best friends with her. all i got was a very cold text stating that she was fine going to another dr tomorrow. i know it wasnt about me that they both were all worried about her and damn it so am i but i am not a part of their life anymore and miss them. my baby girl is so sick and im a mess spent most of day playing dr tag trying to find her someone to talk to. im just lonely and wish i had a close friend to talk to about all that is going on but im so damn good at putting up walls. one day i want them and next day i push them away. my life is a mess was supposed to be moving in with family to get back on my feet financially but i cant move a way from my kids it would kill me. and havent even told my boss i dont want transfer because i think i really am screwed but want stay here for my kids
Replies
((hug)) You\'ve been on DS for many moons, and the sun rarely shines. Yes.. you are good at asking for help and at the same time putting up walls. This is a good insight sister, and something that I once again ask you to give more thought to. The walls that should most concern you aren\'t the one\'s you build against others, but the multiple walls you build inside yourself. Your decision to blind yourself in darkness must be exhausting; but only you can take each brick out to let in the light. I ask you again, to slow down your mind, think in quiet; let go of the insecurities; and listen to your powerful inner voice. Follow what feels \'right\'. Everything you do today is a temporary circumstance for a permanent future.
Tomorrow will be the first day to the rest of your life; so begin tomorrow. Embrace Positive. Embrace Strength. Embrace Right. ((hug))