Emotional Affairs
My partner is very forthcoming about certain things and others I always find out about. I don't go looking for trouble because I was taught that's exactly how you find it, but it seems to always find me. My partner has been having emotional affairs with other women since we met. She was fresh out of a break up and was still emotionally invested in the other party so they stayed in touch. I tried to get over it, thinking I was just being jealous and insecure but other things started showing up. She would go out to eat with "friends", send cards back and forth, talk to women on the internet and etc. Once again I told myself I was overreacting until I started seeing inappropriate texts and instant messages. That's when I started looking up EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS. Not too soon after I myself had a physical affair which I know, admit and accept was not the right thing to do, but at the time it made me feel better about what was going on with my partner.
The issue I am having now is that my partner gets so into these relationships that she has these women telling her they love her and they are planning their future together and so on and so forth. I constantly bring it to her attention but the behavior continues because she doesn't see anything wrong with it because it has never gotten physical. She is still talking to these women, inviting them to events she is having and all. I love her but I don't know how we can make a relationship work if she wont see the error of her ways.
I feel that even if you don't feel that you are doing anything wrong, if I tell you your behavior is bothering me you should be willing to stop off of that fact alone. She constantly brings up my physical indiscretion yet it was brought to my attention that she has had this same issue with people she has dated in the past. Some of her exes have told her that it is not okay to have these emotional affairs but because she doesn't see anything wrong with it she is not willing to stop.
I don't know what to do about the situation because I love her, we have 6 kids between us, 2 of which we had together but I don't know how much longer I can deal with this especially since there seems to be no end in sight.
:( I am afraid to meet any new friends of hers, I don't want anything to do with any old friends of hers, I walk out of the room when she is on the phone, talking or texting just because I always assume the worst and that is honestly not how I see my forever. I don't want to assume that everyone she talks to has an ulterior motive but I cant help it because history is the best teacher. She surrounds herself with these types of people intentionally because they feed her need for attention, but at some point I wonder what I am here for? I understand that she does have some issues that directly correlate to these behaviors, but the fact that it seems to bother her when I appear to do the same shows me that she knows it wrong. How can you do to someone else something that hurts when done to you???
The issue I am having now is that my partner gets so into these relationships that she has these women telling her they love her and they are planning their future together and so on and so forth. I constantly bring it to her attention but the behavior continues because she doesn't see anything wrong with it because it has never gotten physical. She is still talking to these women, inviting them to events she is having and all. I love her but I don't know how we can make a relationship work if she wont see the error of her ways.
I feel that even if you don't feel that you are doing anything wrong, if I tell you your behavior is bothering me you should be willing to stop off of that fact alone. She constantly brings up my physical indiscretion yet it was brought to my attention that she has had this same issue with people she has dated in the past. Some of her exes have told her that it is not okay to have these emotional affairs but because she doesn't see anything wrong with it she is not willing to stop.
I don't know what to do about the situation because I love her, we have 6 kids between us, 2 of which we had together but I don't know how much longer I can deal with this especially since there seems to be no end in sight.
:( I am afraid to meet any new friends of hers, I don't want anything to do with any old friends of hers, I walk out of the room when she is on the phone, talking or texting just because I always assume the worst and that is honestly not how I see my forever. I don't want to assume that everyone she talks to has an ulterior motive but I cant help it because history is the best teacher. She surrounds herself with these types of people intentionally because they feed her need for attention, but at some point I wonder what I am here for? I understand that she does have some issues that directly correlate to these behaviors, but the fact that it seems to bother her when I appear to do the same shows me that she knows it wrong. How can you do to someone else something that hurts when done to you???
Replies