Embracing Solitude
Don't worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?Rumi
I'm not so sure my life has been turned upside down lately, but it is certainly different. I am truly "letting go" of expectations and wanting to "fix" others. By doing this, I have felt such an "emptiness" inside. I am sure it is because I am no longer willing to "fix"... nor do I want to fix. I am working on letting people be where they are and that has led to some free time for me. I did not realize how much time I spent"trying" to "fix" my life and others. The emptiness felt sad at first; then lonely. Then I had the ah-ha moment of what was happening...I think. So, this week I have been embracing the emptiness and looking at it as a "cleaning out/purifying process" and waiting for "what is to come." I have pretty much lived a chaotic life my whole life...this is new and as I always say, "newness can be fragile." Awwww the wonderful world of silence, calmness, serenity and peace. It's what I have been working toward for 35yrs; it is coming and I didn't know what to do with it. So, I will begin to enjoy the next step in my journey.
x and o's
Vicki
I'm not so sure my life has been turned upside down lately, but it is certainly different. I am truly "letting go" of expectations and wanting to "fix" others. By doing this, I have felt such an "emptiness" inside. I am sure it is because I am no longer willing to "fix"... nor do I want to fix. I am working on letting people be where they are and that has led to some free time for me. I did not realize how much time I spent"trying" to "fix" my life and others. The emptiness felt sad at first; then lonely. Then I had the ah-ha moment of what was happening...I think. So, this week I have been embracing the emptiness and looking at it as a "cleaning out/purifying process" and waiting for "what is to come." I have pretty much lived a chaotic life my whole life...this is new and as I always say, "newness can be fragile." Awwww the wonderful world of silence, calmness, serenity and peace. It's what I have been working toward for 35yrs; it is coming and I didn't know what to do with it. So, I will begin to enjoy the next step in my journey.
x and o's
Vicki
Replies
That\'s very beautiful Vicki! Your words are like \'art\' to me. Yes, it sounds like you deserve some of this peacefulness and you don\'t need to find it unsettling but just embrace it. I love your positivity but also your willingness to accept your fears and share them. Love you Vicki! Xxx
I love your Rumi quote.
Embrace the quiet and peace while you can because you never know when new adventures and opportunities are coming :) I suspect you will find yourself surrounded by a spiritual group of folks as that is the path you are on. You need this down time :)
You have no idea what a difference you have made in my life by the way. I quote you at home to DH and my stepson. At work with coworkers and my boss. You are truly a blessing.
I agree, you are a blessing. After all those years of feeling the need to \"fix\" things and people, I can certainly sympathize with the loneliness of that \"friend\" or part of your identity, even though it was an abusive friend. We grow accustomed to our habits as comfortable and natural, don\'t we. Maybe now you & I and the rest of our friends here can start giving up \"fixing\" or true and original non-CO selves.
Hugs,
Rich