Yes, dear Sandi, we will never, ever forget that dreaded, inexplicable, incomprehensible moment ~ \"your child is dead\". It made no sense then and makes no sense now.
Yet, here we are hours, days, weeks, months later ~ still standing, still with family to love, still cherishing our sweet Ken and Corrie.
No ~ we cannot forget but we need to remember also the moments of peace and comfort and knowing that our precious children abide forever in the great heart of Love.
Sending you so much love and tight hugs today ~ Debbie
I was at the grocery store with my husband March 15, 2009. I got a call from my younger son Josh. He said something about a terrible accident and he was crying. I finaly had to ask him point blank.. I said, \"Joshua, is your brother alive\". He said, \"no mom, he\'s not\". That\'s when I couldn\'t talk anymore and started screaming. Of course Tim didn\'t know what was going on. And we both didn\'t know that it wasn\'t a car accident. He had been shot, until much later. The first call I made was to my sister in Denver, who could only say, \"oh no, it can\'t be true\", over and over. Since I was in Michigan and he was in Georgia, I had to prepare for a long trip home. Oh, how I wished that I could run to him just down the road. It took 14 hours to get there. Josh kept calling along the way, \"how far are you mom?\" I couldn\'t think, I didn\'t want to think, I didn\'t want to believe this could happen. How could he not be alive when I get there waiting to see me? Oh my heart..I will never ever forget. So fresh in my mind. Yes, it\'s embedded in my mind forever. Danette, Sweet Nathan\'s mom
Our hearts can\'t help but recognize the worst days of our lives, and no matter how we distance ourselves from it those memories have a will of their own and pop in whenever they feel like it. Thinking of you, sending you hugs. Lynette ~ Matthews mom
Shock is a wonderful thing - I don\'t really remember much about the day Billy died - except having to tell people...his tennis coach from highschool called to tell us a reporter from the local paper was going to be calling to talk to Billy because he wanted to do an article on him - needless to say I had to tell the coach Billy had died that morning - he called the reporter to tell him not to call - a wonderful article on Billy was in that Sundays paper, which happened to be Mother\'s Day. All his friends calling asking me if it was true - he had never told any of them he had cancer - he would go out with them anytime they were home from college like normal. I do remember the night of Billy\'s funeral sitting on the couch watching \"Wheel of Fortune\" thinking this was not bad I can handle this - people don\'t know what they are talking about - this was not so bad - then I had to try & get out of bed the next day ....Shock a wonderful thing...Hugs, Ann
I remember and it still makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Ken had called me at work and said, \"You must come home right now. Your son is dead!\" I screamed, \"No he\'s not! He was fine yesterday!\" But he wasn\'t fine and I am changed forever. I am so sorry that we all have to know and remember...Tight hugs, Linda
A day that I will never ever forget. It is always in my heart what happend that night. A knock on the door and my husband coming in to the bed roon just crying so much I could not understand him. Walking into the living room & seeing the police at the front door. It was just 3 day\'s before my Husband 50th birthday & we had a big praty planned....Hugs, Co
We found out about Philip first thing on a Sunday morning. We drove to mdaughter\'s house to tell her. She knew as soon as she heard the doorbell. Thank the Lord for shock. She was not able to cry or really comprehend that her brother was gone until later in the day. I had people ask me if I had trouble sleeping and strangely enough I never did. I think it was because sleep was such sweet relief from having to think and grieve!!
My call came a little before 3 in the morning. Michael was found unresponsive on a bathroom floor and was on the way to the hospital. A couple of calls later had me on my knees, begging God for what I had been told to not be true. I remember the paramedics being there (my mom called them to check on me). By the time they got there, shock had set in and I wondered why they were there. The rest is a blur...scattered memories of calling my younger son to tell him. I don\'t remember much. Shock is a wonderful thing! It protects and wears off it little bits. Protects the mind from what it cannot absorb all at one time. Hurts like hell when it wears off though.
I was relieved, since Andy had been on a journey through hell. His terror, pain and fear were over. I knew I would feel relief and gratitude when he died because that is no way to live. My relief was for him. That relief and sense of peace carried me through the first two months. Then I woke up, sort of, to my own sense of loss, and to HIS loss, and the shock and sorrow came in double waves. I can still go back, though, to that night in May and remember how we prayed for his release...
The memory is forever in my brain. Tara called saying Mike does not look good. I jumped into the car it was the longest 10 min drive of my life. She was on the phone w/ 911 I ran in looked at him sitting on the couch, no heart beat. Pulled him off onto the floor and began CPR till the EMT\'s came in checked him out covered him with the sheet. I knew in the back of my mind he was gone but my heart was not willing to execpt the fact. Today I feel the CPR was more for me than him I did everything I was trained for and knew to save him, it is more so for my peace of mind that I leave no stone unturned.
no words justs tears.
Penny
Replies
Yes, dear Sandi, we will never, ever forget that dreaded, inexplicable, incomprehensible moment ~ \"your child is dead\". It made no sense then and makes no sense now.
Yet, here we are hours, days, weeks, months later ~ still standing, still with family to love, still cherishing our sweet Ken and Corrie.
No ~ we cannot forget but we need to remember also the moments of peace and comfort and knowing that our precious children abide forever in the great heart of Love.
Sending you so much love and tight hugs today ~ Debbie
I was at the grocery store with my husband March 15, 2009. I got a call from my younger son Josh. He said something about a terrible accident and he was crying. I finaly had to ask him point blank.. I said, \"Joshua, is your brother alive\". He said, \"no mom, he\'s not\". That\'s when I couldn\'t talk anymore and started screaming. Of course Tim didn\'t know what was going on. And we both didn\'t know that it wasn\'t a car accident. He had been shot, until much later. The first call I made was to my sister in Denver, who could only say, \"oh no, it can\'t be true\", over and over. Since I was in Michigan and he was in Georgia, I had to prepare for a long trip home. Oh, how I wished that I could run to him just down the road. It took 14 hours to get there. Josh kept calling along the way, \"how far are you mom?\" I couldn\'t think, I didn\'t want to think, I didn\'t want to believe this could happen. How could he not be alive when I get there waiting to see me? Oh my heart..I will never ever forget. So fresh in my mind. Yes, it\'s embedded in my mind forever. Danette, Sweet Nathan\'s mom
Our hearts can\'t help but recognize the worst days of our lives, and no matter how we distance ourselves from it those memories have a will of their own and pop in whenever they feel like it. Thinking of you, sending you hugs. Lynette ~ Matthews mom
Shock is a wonderful thing - I don\'t really remember much about the day Billy died - except having to tell people...his tennis coach from highschool called to tell us a reporter from the local paper was going to be calling to talk to Billy because he wanted to do an article on him - needless to say I had to tell the coach Billy had died that morning - he called the reporter to tell him not to call - a wonderful article on Billy was in that Sundays paper, which happened to be Mother\'s Day. All his friends calling asking me if it was true - he had never told any of them he had cancer - he would go out with them anytime they were home from college like normal. I do remember the night of Billy\'s funeral sitting on the couch watching \"Wheel of Fortune\" thinking this was not bad I can handle this - people don\'t know what they are talking about - this was not so bad - then I had to try & get out of bed the next day ....Shock a wonderful thing...Hugs, Ann
Hit me like a ton of bricks...felt like a real bad dream....
I do remember every moment. Espeically the call from the dr. And then having to call family.
Hugs to you,
Pam
I remember and it still makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Ken had called me at work and said, \"You must come home right now. Your son is dead!\" I screamed, \"No he\'s not! He was fine yesterday!\" But he wasn\'t fine and I am changed forever. I am so sorry that we all have to know and remember...Tight hugs, Linda
A day that I will never ever forget. It is always in my heart what happend that night. A knock on the door and my husband coming in to the bed roon just crying so much I could not understand him. Walking into the living room & seeing the police at the front door. It was just 3 day\'s before my Husband 50th birthday & we had a big praty planned....Hugs, Co
We found out about Philip first thing on a Sunday morning. We drove to mdaughter\'s house to tell her. She knew as soon as she heard the doorbell. Thank the Lord for shock. She was not able to cry or really comprehend that her brother was gone until later in the day. I had people ask me if I had trouble sleeping and strangely enough I never did. I think it was because sleep was such sweet relief from having to think and grieve!!
My call came a little before 3 in the morning. Michael was found unresponsive on a bathroom floor and was on the way to the hospital. A couple of calls later had me on my knees, begging God for what I had been told to not be true. I remember the paramedics being there (my mom called them to check on me). By the time they got there, shock had set in and I wondered why they were there. The rest is a blur...scattered memories of calling my younger son to tell him. I don\'t remember much. Shock is a wonderful thing! It protects and wears off it little bits. Protects the mind from what it cannot absorb all at one time. Hurts like hell when it wears off though.
I was relieved, since Andy had been on a journey through hell. His terror, pain and fear were over. I knew I would feel relief and gratitude when he died because that is no way to live. My relief was for him. That relief and sense of peace carried me through the first two months. Then I woke up, sort of, to my own sense of loss, and to HIS loss, and the shock and sorrow came in double waves. I can still go back, though, to that night in May and remember how we prayed for his release...
I was blessed to be with my Jenn at the end but the images are imprinted into my brain and heart forever..
Yes...I can\'t go there right now...
Yes, What a shock. I think I walked around for 3 months in a coma. I still can\'t believe it, Hugs Susan
The memory is forever in my brain. Tara called saying Mike does not look good. I jumped into the car it was the longest 10 min drive of my life. She was on the phone w/ 911 I ran in looked at him sitting on the couch, no heart beat. Pulled him off onto the floor and began CPR till the EMT\'s came in checked him out covered him with the sheet. I knew in the back of my mind he was gone but my heart was not willing to execpt the fact. Today I feel the CPR was more for me than him I did everything I was trained for and knew to save him, it is more so for my peace of mind that I leave no stone unturned.
no words justs tears.
Penny