embarassing

this is embarrassingim sick of being open and honest and being squashed but then why think that-reality check no its oki have to remember that you cant please all the people all the timei dont like evryone i meetbut last night so what if the fat guy stole my straw-yes reallyi had a g&t a Carona and a whiskyknew i was budding- but too tired to project without some ooomph.Dorothy's Secret is the ideal local when its not the Cav.met Salima, Dell, James, fiona, rodney, peterthey asked me to go to People on k Rdbut have to work today, and i dont enjoy wk if Im tiredgot to be 100 to woo the punters. ive asked about 40 people to the party, and have about 30 morei have a sneaky feeling its going to be a fun day/night saw Jo last night, they had the whole crew on-Renee is a strange mal person-not seizures but deja vu sensations?why medicate that i wonder/ also paul and john?and whatnot on the slots$20 bills in out in out.the italians looked sharp but too jumpy to relax into game i got my fill of Mike last night-Fiona and patrick did the Mike/brit duet the way you make me feel-peter did Im coming out and rod did gloria sumner (?) x 2 i thinlbit blurry in the memory cardlove disconot the disco magician todayqueen of wandsbe dinah sure today and not passive aggressivebe the good me and stop tying to rule the universedelusions of grandeurbefore super person gotta be ordinary personits not rocket science as they say. i still have qualms about Mr Xbut i dont mind living it down fools rush in and thats mesaves time i suppose and the good thing is no one has to read my blahblahblah if they dont want toi am chatty is alland that is a good sign will talk to maybe 50 resps today and being chatty is just doing my job ma'amwould rather just blob to the tennismight see if i can catch it 2moro really want to come off the anti psychotic nextsee the psych this week.just lithium and even that i wonder why= i can hold the manics in checkand it didnt touch the sides of the depression praps im not even bp?was my diagnosis and anton took my wrd for itmaybe it was just living with bryan in our cell maybe just me and thats ok this week-life drawing at P CCadriennedo b's flyersgo to Tim's re typingneed to stop spending bought  leather jacket but its beautiful and im glad i didlambskin so supple and soft101 coffees but thats okoh what the fuck eh?infatuation is fun and i will see raj today forobject of my affections.i really do like everyone at work at the momentand they all like me=did i invite prabha and Kat?mmmmm hope they dont come in a wayomigod did i invite Ray?well they are all younger than mewhat does it matter really?better to keep being open and think onyes its really ok-8.30 time for a coffee at that place on K Rd got a good feeling about today after allneed to get some real food from the supwiener schnitzel peas chips lemon the silver beet is ready to eatplant those poppies, parsley, lobelia,running out of room in the gardenput the poppies in a bucket so i can bring them inside when they flower.i like Chris1981 my god he putss so many photos on-clogs up my inbox must have early night toniteim lagginggone off boiltime to bring in my board and sit by the bonfirejust wish ....avanti