Elevator Mood- Going Up and Down
My mood is getting into elevator mode.. the other day I was going up and hypomanic and today it's going down. I was supposed to do my 5k today, but when I got up and got ready, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to walk that far. I walked about half of it instead, but still... I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I'm feeling physically sick as well... I ate dinner and I'm still trying to keep it down. I've had about 1,000 calories today and that's all I think I will be able to eat. I have a headache, and I don't know if it's another migraine starting or what. I have to wake up early tomorrow to go to therapy and I'm dreading it. I haven't had to wake up that early since I went to go see my mom a couple weeks ago, and I was feeling better then. I'm horrible at waking up when I feel bad. I think I'm going to set my alarm a bit early so I can snooze it a bit, rather than set it for the last minute and have to rush. I have a feeling I'm going to be rushed anyways, but I can always try.
I was watching TV with Geo, and I could just feel my mood sinking... It's come up a bit since, but it got pretty low for a couple minutes there. I think the headache isn't helping, and when I get up I'm going to get something for the headache. I've had it in the back of my head all day, so I know it's not just a regular headache, so I'm going to take Excedrin (without the caffeine). Luckily I'm not sensitive to light yet, so I can sit up and type this. I was going to do it before dinner, but I ended up napping. I had trouble falling asleep last night, so I slept late and napped. Well, I got like 12 hours of sleep I think... I don't really remember what time I fell asleep since I wear an eye mask at night. I know I was still awake after midnight and I woke up around 1pm. I just wanted to stay in bed all day, which is pretty much what I did.
I did manage to walk to the clinic to get Geo some soda... he ran out and I forgot to get him some when I was there yesterday, so I walked over there and got him some. I'm probably going to get him some more tomorrow when I go out.. there's no reason to argue with him over it.. he's decided he wants to only drink soda and there's nothing I can do to stop him. We've fought enough over it for me to realize that he's not going to change until he gets diabetes or something. I would hate for that to happen, but he's not going to change unless he has a reason to. He's scared of change and stubborn as a bull, so me trying to do anything to change him is useless. I came home after that and realized that tomorrow is going to be a busy day, so I got Geo to write out his rent check and walked over to the other office and dropped off the rent. That's how I got in my 1.5 miles (about half of the 3.1 of a 5k) in today. I had to walk around the clinic a bit, too, and I was embarrassed since I wasn't dressed in work clothes and my hair was a mess from the wind. Luckily nobody I knew saw me.
I don't know why my mood is going down so fast besides me going hypomanic the other day... I know after a hypomania I get low, but this was delayed a bit. The weather was beautiful here today, I don't have anything to be sad about that I know of... Maybe it's just that time of year, or me coming down off of that high of last night with me getting all excited about possibly getting a job. I don't know if my therapist is going to be sick and tired of me talking about a job when I don't know when I'm going to get one, but you never know. It's the only big thing I have in my life to talk about, you know? I don't have much other stuff going on in my life, and I know work helps me out, so I think it's a worthwhile thing to talk about.
Food today was bad.... I was about 1.000 calories today, way too low. I'm having trouble keeping down dinner, so I don't think I will be having a snack later. I think I need to go back to eating oatmeal for breakfast instead of my chicken thigh, since I was able to get in more calories that way, and it was healthy. I just have to call Geo's dad to take me to the store on Friday so we can get food. I might be able to go tomorrow too, but I think his dad has to work. I don't think I can go on my own on the weekend... I don't think I will have the energy to do it. Right now I don't have the energy to do much of anything besides curl up in bed and sleep, which I'm going to be doing very soon. Stress today wasn't there, since I was just tired all day, sleep was good and mood I'm going to put as okay since it's a balance of good and bad.
I was watching TV with Geo, and I could just feel my mood sinking... It's come up a bit since, but it got pretty low for a couple minutes there. I think the headache isn't helping, and when I get up I'm going to get something for the headache. I've had it in the back of my head all day, so I know it's not just a regular headache, so I'm going to take Excedrin (without the caffeine). Luckily I'm not sensitive to light yet, so I can sit up and type this. I was going to do it before dinner, but I ended up napping. I had trouble falling asleep last night, so I slept late and napped. Well, I got like 12 hours of sleep I think... I don't really remember what time I fell asleep since I wear an eye mask at night. I know I was still awake after midnight and I woke up around 1pm. I just wanted to stay in bed all day, which is pretty much what I did.
I did manage to walk to the clinic to get Geo some soda... he ran out and I forgot to get him some when I was there yesterday, so I walked over there and got him some. I'm probably going to get him some more tomorrow when I go out.. there's no reason to argue with him over it.. he's decided he wants to only drink soda and there's nothing I can do to stop him. We've fought enough over it for me to realize that he's not going to change until he gets diabetes or something. I would hate for that to happen, but he's not going to change unless he has a reason to. He's scared of change and stubborn as a bull, so me trying to do anything to change him is useless. I came home after that and realized that tomorrow is going to be a busy day, so I got Geo to write out his rent check and walked over to the other office and dropped off the rent. That's how I got in my 1.5 miles (about half of the 3.1 of a 5k) in today. I had to walk around the clinic a bit, too, and I was embarrassed since I wasn't dressed in work clothes and my hair was a mess from the wind. Luckily nobody I knew saw me.
I don't know why my mood is going down so fast besides me going hypomanic the other day... I know after a hypomania I get low, but this was delayed a bit. The weather was beautiful here today, I don't have anything to be sad about that I know of... Maybe it's just that time of year, or me coming down off of that high of last night with me getting all excited about possibly getting a job. I don't know if my therapist is going to be sick and tired of me talking about a job when I don't know when I'm going to get one, but you never know. It's the only big thing I have in my life to talk about, you know? I don't have much other stuff going on in my life, and I know work helps me out, so I think it's a worthwhile thing to talk about.
Food today was bad.... I was about 1.000 calories today, way too low. I'm having trouble keeping down dinner, so I don't think I will be having a snack later. I think I need to go back to eating oatmeal for breakfast instead of my chicken thigh, since I was able to get in more calories that way, and it was healthy. I just have to call Geo's dad to take me to the store on Friday so we can get food. I might be able to go tomorrow too, but I think his dad has to work. I don't think I can go on my own on the weekend... I don't think I will have the energy to do it. Right now I don't have the energy to do much of anything besides curl up in bed and sleep, which I'm going to be doing very soon. Stress today wasn't there, since I was just tired all day, sleep was good and mood I'm going to put as okay since it's a balance of good and bad.
Replies
Take care and rest when you get that tired and no energy its usually , i know for me, a sign your body is telling you to slow down a bit for some reason. I think you did great getting as much walking in as you did way to go... i would have just said forget it and i wouldnt have done any of it if i felt bad...good job! Im wondering if you might be coming down with something like a virus .. since you dont have energy, bad headache and feeling like you cant keep food down hope not but just be careful.
The Geo thing about the pop you are handling it so well.... you are right theres no way you are going to get him to change his thinking if he really dont want to and no sense making it be a constant battle. Hes going to regret it some day if he has diabetic problems from it.
Hope you can rest good tonight and feel better in the morning for your therapist appointment. Huggzzz