Elevator Mood- Going Up and Down
My mood is getting into elevator mode.. the other day I was going up and hypomanic and today it's going down. I was supposed to do my 5k today, but when I got up and got ready, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to walk that far. I walked about half of it instead, but still... I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I'm feeling physically sick as well... I ate dinner and I'm still trying to keep it down. I've had about 1,000 calories today and that's all I think I will be able to eat. I have a headache, and I don't know if it's another migraine starting or what. I have to wake up early tomorrow to go to therapy and I'm dreading it. I haven't had to wake up that early since I went to go see my mom a couple weeks ago, and I was feeling better then. I'm horrible at waking up when I feel bad. I think I'm going to set my alarm a bit early so I can snooze it a bit, rather than set it for the last minute and have to rush. I have a feeling I'm going to be rushed anyways, but I can always try.
I was watching TV with Geo, and I could just feel my mood sinking... It's come up a bit since, but it got pretty low for a couple minutes there. I think the headache isn't helping, and when I get up I'm going to get something for the headache. I've had it in the back of my head all day, so I know it's not just a regular headache, so I'm going to take Excedrin (without the caffeine). Luckily I'm not sensitive to light yet, so I can sit up and type this. I was going to do it before dinner, but I ended up napping. I had trouble falling asleep last night, so I slept late and napped. Well, I got like 12 hours of sleep I think... I don't really remember what time I fell asleep since I wear an eye mask at night. I know I was still awake after midnight and I woke up around 1pm. I just wanted to stay in bed all day, which is pretty much what I did.
I did manage to walk to the clinic to get Geo some soda... he ran out and I forgot to get him some when I was there yesterday, so I walked over there and got him some. I'm probably going to get him some more tomorrow when I go out.. there's no reason to argue with him over it.. he's decided he wants to only drink soda and there's nothing I can do to stop him. We've fought enough over it for me to realize that he's not going to change until he gets diabetes or something. I would hate for that to happen, but he's not going to change unless he has a reason to. He's scared of change and stubborn as a bull, so me trying to do anything to change him is useless. I came home after that and realized that tomorrow is going to be a busy day, so I got Geo to write out his rent check and walked over to the other office and dropped off the rent. That's how I got in my 1.5 miles (about half of the 3.1 of a 5k) in today. I had to walk around the clinic a bit, too, and I was embarrassed since I wasn't dressed in work clothes and my hair was a mess from the wind. Luckily nobody I knew saw me.
I don't know why my mood is going down so fast besides me going hypomanic the other day... I know after a hypomania I get low, but this was delayed a bit. The weather was beautiful here today, I don't have anything to be sad about that I know of... Maybe it's just that time of year, or me coming down off of that high of last night with me getting all excited about possibly getting a job. I don't know if my therapist is going to be sick and tired of me talking about a job when I don't know when I'm going to get one, but you never know. It's the only big thing I have in my life to talk about, you know? I don't have much other stuff going on in my life, and I know work helps me out, so I think it's a worthwhile thing to talk about.
Food today was bad.... I was about 1.000 calories today, way too low. I'm having trouble keeping down dinner, so I don't think I will be having a snack later. I think I need to go back to eating oatmeal for breakfast instead of my chicken thigh, since I was able to get in more calories that way, and it was healthy. I just have to call Geo's dad to take me to the store on Friday so we can get food. I might be able to go tomorrow too, but I think his dad has to work. I don't think I can go on my own on the weekend... I don't think I will have the energy to do it. Right now I don't have the energy to do much of anything besides curl up in bed and sleep, which I'm going to be doing very soon. Stress today wasn't there, since I was just tired all day, sleep was good and mood I'm going to put as okay since it's a balance of good and bad.
I was watching TV with Geo, and I could just feel my mood sinking... It's come up a bit since, but it got pretty low for a couple minutes there. I think the headache isn't helping, and when I get up I'm going to get something for the headache. I've had it in the back of my head all day, so I know it's not just a regular headache, so I'm going to take Excedrin (without the caffeine). Luckily I'm not sensitive to light yet, so I can sit up and type this. I was going to do it before dinner, but I ended up napping. I had trouble falling asleep last night, so I slept late and napped. Well, I got like 12 hours of sleep I think... I don't really remember what time I fell asleep since I wear an eye mask at night. I know I was still awake after midnight and I woke up around 1pm. I just wanted to stay in bed all day, which is pretty much what I did.
I did manage to walk to the clinic to get Geo some soda... he ran out and I forgot to get him some when I was there yesterday, so I walked over there and got him some. I'm probably going to get him some more tomorrow when I go out.. there's no reason to argue with him over it.. he's decided he wants to only drink soda and there's nothing I can do to stop him. We've fought enough over it for me to realize that he's not going to change until he gets diabetes or something. I would hate for that to happen, but he's not going to change unless he has a reason to. He's scared of change and stubborn as a bull, so me trying to do anything to change him is useless. I came home after that and realized that tomorrow is going to be a busy day, so I got Geo to write out his rent check and walked over to the other office and dropped off the rent. That's how I got in my 1.5 miles (about half of the 3.1 of a 5k) in today. I had to walk around the clinic a bit, too, and I was embarrassed since I wasn't dressed in work clothes and my hair was a mess from the wind. Luckily nobody I knew saw me.
I don't know why my mood is going down so fast besides me going hypomanic the other day... I know after a hypomania I get low, but this was delayed a bit. The weather was beautiful here today, I don't have anything to be sad about that I know of... Maybe it's just that time of year, or me coming down off of that high of last night with me getting all excited about possibly getting a job. I don't know if my therapist is going to be sick and tired of me talking about a job when I don't know when I'm going to get one, but you never know. It's the only big thing I have in my life to talk about, you know? I don't have much other stuff going on in my life, and I know work helps me out, so I think it's a worthwhile thing to talk about.
Food today was bad.... I was about 1.000 calories today, way too low. I'm having trouble keeping down dinner, so I don't think I will be having a snack later. I think I need to go back to eating oatmeal for breakfast instead of my chicken thigh, since I was able to get in more calories that way, and it was healthy. I just have to call Geo's dad to take me to the store on Friday so we can get food. I might be able to go tomorrow too, but I think his dad has to work. I don't think I can go on my own on the weekend... I don't think I will have the energy to do it. Right now I don't have the energy to do much of anything besides curl up in bed and sleep, which I'm going to be doing very soon. Stress today wasn't there, since I was just tired all day, sleep was good and mood I'm going to put as okay since it's a balance of good and bad.
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