Elephant in the room

Our middle son is up to his eyeballs in booze.  I know his condition is getting worse and I know that he's in God's hands but I've become so detached that maybe it's gone too far.  Yesterday I was in his room and smelled beer.  An open bottle had spilled on his carpet and was sticking out from underneath his bed.  Well, that wasn't the only bottle under there - but many bottles ~ beer and liquor.  Some empty and some full.  
So last night my husband and I go for a walk and I told him that we need to talk to him. Not that what we say is going to change much of anything but J needs to be reminded that we are aware of his problem and that he'd consider getting some help. No lecture.  My husband said he did that as our son was leaving last night (with our car) to play pool. "I know you're going to play pool so don't make any unwise decisions" "Watch your drinking" or something like that.  
Not sure what to say because I know how defensive he is.  I know I have to be careful as to not come across as I'm lecturing him.  He looks awful and he was doing so much better before the break up with his girlfriend.  
So I pray.  I'll also pray for the right way to talk to J.  Husband is going out of town and maybe I will have the opportunity.  It's always awkward.....