Eight months

It has been eight months today since I lost Mike.  Sometimes its seems like it was just yesterday and at other times it seems like it has been a lot longer than 8 months.  I look back to the beginning of this journey and I feel like I have made some progress moving forward.   I still have my moments that I think this can't be real, but for the most part, I think I have accepted that he is never coming back and I should stop waiting for that to happen.  Early on when something needed to be done around the house that he always took care of, I would say "I can't do this" now I say "I can do this". I can be a little annoying when this happens.  I am so proud of myself for doing something that I call everyone I know and tell them.  After the meetup group thing didn't work out,  I realized that I was trying to push myself to move forward instead of just taking one day at a time and allowing myself to move forward at my own pace.  Since then I have felt better about where I am.   So many firsts are coming up in the next 4 months .  If grief knocks me to floor then I will let it flow and then pick myself up, dust myself off and try to move on.  I say that now, but I know it will be easier said than done.