EIDS - Emotional Immune Deficiency System

It's deeply difficult that I find myself in the position I do today; not because it happened, and is happening, but because it's more the pattern of late ... of present. I find myself loving someone more than I love myself. I say that because I have read this book, seen this movie, and whilst I really couldn't (off the bat) tell you that I know why I love this person (I'd have to think), I feel I do. I somehow feel I do.

It's strange because I have looked over my notes - I've stepped back (though not hardly enough) - and what I come up with is that I have all this love to give and I just want to give it to a person that is willing to give me back (their version) - doesn't have to be the same. I sincerenly understand and accept people are different. But I find myself discovering that (for me) giving too much, giving all, leaves you (me) ever ever ever so vulnerable.

The immune system is designed to protect the physical body, mostly but not limited to the internal aspects of it. So so many things can be taken for granted when your body works as God has designed it, miraculously. But have you ever noticed how a common cold can start the fast deterioration and eventual destruction of the body, if the immune system is down? Respect your white blood cells' jobs. They fight as hell for you when there's an infection or simply senses a foreign body/object inside your body. You know the funny thing though, we don't take care of our white blood cells. They. Still. Fight.

That's how I have been loving of late. And my proverbial and metaphorical (emotional) immune system has been down. God and family and friends (who I hardly let in) have done their part to uplift me. My children make me happy. But somehow, some way, I deteriorate - and then, how can I love her effectively - most important, how can one love self at this point.

Protect your emotional Immune System ... at all cost. Preserve self and chose to love again. In fact, chose to love now. Start with the mirror, and whomever is the very next person that cares enough to ask how you are ... they prolly have some reason to be cared for too. Lastly, be careful with your love. Value yourself. Respect yourself.