Eddie's Angel Date
Hi everyone,
Thank you for the hugs and lighting candles for Ed today. It is comforting to hear all the positive thoughts and knowing candles are glowing for him...that his light hasn't gone out...I felt the prayers and the strength from my dear friends here at DS and FMO.
This angel date was peaceful...more peaceful than the first and the second. I think I am healing. On Sunday a group of us went to the cemetery & then back to my house for brunch. My ex husband couldn't make it. He was feeling ill but he called & I explained his absence to my grandchildren and they understood. He is quite a bit older than me and not in good health. I brought flowers I grew to place at Ed's headstone & I don't know why but its important that I grew the flowers I brought. Later that day my adopted daughter Donna, (she was my son's close friend for many years and her mom died 7 years ago) & her husband had us over for a cook out and it was nice. I enjoyed being around their kids & being outside. A nice distraction.
Today I did some cleaning then went to the cemetery again because today is Ed's actual angelversary. Just Ken & I went. It was raining..I felt God's tears for us moms that hurt.
Tonight my grandchildren Josh & Christina came over for dinner. My former daughter in law came too with her 2 young children from her current relationship. I made dinner and then we had coffee & dessert and we each said a few words about Ed. I played a tape of the last voicemail we have with him talking and we all did some crying but it was ok. My daugher in law brought us a "thinking of you" card and she wrote some kind words in it. I love Elaine but have some conflicted feelings that I am working to get past. Elaine was not very honest with Ed the last year they were together but overall we have a good relationship and as I told Ken tonight she is really trying and I appreciate it.
I had put out on my buffet lots of pictures of Ed and of him with Elaine through the years and the kids when they were little. We looked at them and laughed at the big hair in the 80's and talked about how much Ed loved his kids.
I got a license plate sighting with numbers that are significant to Ed (that's how Ed often sends me signs) and also a "wink" from Ed that only he and I would recognize so I am blessed and know he's close by. I am truly grateful I had him all the years that I did and I am thrilled I got to be his mom. I know one day that I will be reunited with Ed as God has promised and I look forward to that day but for now on I go.
Love you, Ed! xoxo mom
Thank you for the hugs and lighting candles for Ed today. It is comforting to hear all the positive thoughts and knowing candles are glowing for him...that his light hasn't gone out...I felt the prayers and the strength from my dear friends here at DS and FMO.
This angel date was peaceful...more peaceful than the first and the second. I think I am healing. On Sunday a group of us went to the cemetery & then back to my house for brunch. My ex husband couldn't make it. He was feeling ill but he called & I explained his absence to my grandchildren and they understood. He is quite a bit older than me and not in good health. I brought flowers I grew to place at Ed's headstone & I don't know why but its important that I grew the flowers I brought. Later that day my adopted daughter Donna, (she was my son's close friend for many years and her mom died 7 years ago) & her husband had us over for a cook out and it was nice. I enjoyed being around their kids & being outside. A nice distraction.
Today I did some cleaning then went to the cemetery again because today is Ed's actual angelversary. Just Ken & I went. It was raining..I felt God's tears for us moms that hurt.
Tonight my grandchildren Josh & Christina came over for dinner. My former daughter in law came too with her 2 young children from her current relationship. I made dinner and then we had coffee & dessert and we each said a few words about Ed. I played a tape of the last voicemail we have with him talking and we all did some crying but it was ok. My daugher in law brought us a "thinking of you" card and she wrote some kind words in it. I love Elaine but have some conflicted feelings that I am working to get past. Elaine was not very honest with Ed the last year they were together but overall we have a good relationship and as I told Ken tonight she is really trying and I appreciate it.
I had put out on my buffet lots of pictures of Ed and of him with Elaine through the years and the kids when they were little. We looked at them and laughed at the big hair in the 80's and talked about how much Ed loved his kids.
I got a license plate sighting with numbers that are significant to Ed (that's how Ed often sends me signs) and also a "wink" from Ed that only he and I would recognize so I am blessed and know he's close by. I am truly grateful I had him all the years that I did and I am thrilled I got to be his mom. I know one day that I will be reunited with Ed as God has promised and I look forward to that day but for now on I go.
Love you, Ed! xoxo mom
Replies
I\'m so pleased to see that you are healing. You are still cherishing the memories of your son, but maybe the pain isn\'t so sharp anymore. Grief is forever, but it can lessen with time.
huge hug...thinking of you
I am going to light my candle for Ed, the big, thick ones in jars, that will burn all night and some of the next day. He was such a nice young man, so special in his ways, so loved and loving. I am holding your hand as I light. Abby
Just now light a candle with scent, too. My thoughts are with you and Ed. Peace to you and much love, Peggy
This was a beautiful and heart felt journal, about your family and the love you all had and still have for Ed. As for Elaine, just let go of any feelings about the past. She may have her own guilt to live with and I am sure that is not easy. So nice, that she still keeps in touch with you and is now sharing her two young children. Just consider her a blessing and I bet you will feel better.
I loved the idea of a buffet loaded with family pictures with Ed. I wish i had a voice video or tape with Dean\'s voice on it. That would be so special to me.
((((HUGS))))....Julia
What a beautiful time of sharing and loving dear Ed. I can feel the peace within your words and for that I am grateful.
The winks too from him... Just what you both needed and yes, thrilled is such a telling word of how you feel being Ed\'s forever mom. :)
Hoping the rest of your week is gentle on that big, beautiful caring heart of yours and that the fudge pie was tasty too!
In gratitude for your sharing of how this third angel day felt for you as it offers hope and that is something I know I need as do the others.
Loving care dear Linda and one thing I do know about Ed... He is such a well loved son and continues to BE. His light continues to shine on in the healing and growth that is each of yours. Now, that\'s spreading the light...
Tight hugs and love,
Joanie
I have prayed for both Ed and for you. You are very blessed to have all this support. The first anniversary of my daughter\'s death, the only person I heard from was her father. Everyone else has totally forgotten she was alive. That makes it twice as hard because I have to fight the anger that accompanies this realization and anger gets between me and God. I am encouraged by the course of your healing, it is a lamp before me. God bless you.
Linda,
So glad you were able to share this angelversary (LOVE THAT) with others who also loved Ed. He sounds like such a special man and I am happy you received a few winks.
Love to you and Ed,
Leda
Your day was filled with Ed and those who loved him. This is what it is all about. When you have people around you who care about you and love Ed, you are almost complete. May this evening be one with gentle thoughts and peace. Truly your friend, BarbaraWawa
That was a beautiful journal, especially listening to the tape of Eddie talking on the answering machine.. and your family with you. so happy. such a nice angel day in honor of your angel Eddie. love Mary Ann
A touching celebration of Ed\'s life and love that continues through his children and family.....I must apologize dear one for being late with this. I have not been on the computer except to do home schooling with Mariah. Please forgive my delay. I pray that your faith continues to strengthen daily. You have been an inspiration to me since we became friends. I have thought you to be very compassionate and caring for all people. You are a true demonstration of the character of Jesus Christ. I am blessed as is all those who know you. Please accept my apology for being late. Much love for you and sweet dear Ed. He is surrounded by the angels and saints....he has met those whom we have only read about!! WOW....and of course, he and Brandon are organizing one heavenly concert for their moms\' arrivals. Love, dale..brandon\'s mom
That was so nice the way things went. I would like to get Mikes friends around, but his angle date is so close to Christmas, I should try to do it around his birthday which is 1/31. Most of his friends live in south Fl it is a drive to get here but It would be so nice to sit around tell ing stories.
Hugs to you and Ed
So sorry I am late in honoring Ed\'s angel date. It is such a difficult time and I pray you felt Ed\'s presence as well as some peace. I love the idea of him being surrounded by angels and saints as Kingsdaughter said. So good to know you have your family\'s support, too. Sending peaceful hugs, Roselle
Linda, the day was spent honoring Ed in so many nice ways. I\'m glad that you felt peace and comfort through the day. You are so right....his light hasn\'t gone out..... it is shining bright. Love & Hugs, Kim
Crap - I didn\'t realize that Ed\'s angel date is my birthday. I was in Banff, trying to avoid it.
I am so glad you had a peaceful day.
It rained here on the 5th too, but on the 6th we had glorious sunshine in the mountains so went hiking. I feel at peace out in the wilderness. I said a prayer for all the moms who have lost their children and said names out loud. You and Ed were on my list.
Love and hugs,
Marlene