Ed's birthday

Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the support & encouragement during the month of September. Debbie, Corrie's mom, shared with me that she had read when angel dates and birthdays fall closely together one may enter into a "season of grief". It helped me a lot to understand why I have been feeling so badly. Even the start up of school was rough for me. I work year round as we have some classrooms open in the summer but in the fall the entire twelve classrooms open. Usually I look forward to all the staff returning and the kids are adorable. But this year it was a struggle. But I will be fine, with God's grace, one day at a time.
Ed's birthday was peaceful. Just me, Ken, my DIL and my grandchildren went to the cemetery ( it was pouring but the rain let up just as we arrived at Ed's resting spot), then we had dinner at my house and had a cake in Ed's honor. We, of course, were sad but it was a gentle day. My ex husband called and he is hurting and feeling guilty and I did what I could to comfort him but honestly it is hard to absorb his grief too. He lives 2 hours away so he didn't want to travel to have dinner with us but I think it helped him to be invited. Neither my brother or my narcissistic mother called on Ed's birthday. No mention of my son or a call to see how me or Josh or Christina are doing. I don't know why this surprises me. Eddie did receive lots of hugs & birthday wishes from my friends here and it helps me immensely to know none of you will forget him. Chelsea sent me a beautiful poem and emailed and Donna, (my adopted daughter who was one of Ed's best friends) called and lit a candle for Ed - she had to work or would have joined us for dinner.
Dearest Ed, I miss you so...I know, I know, I tell you everyday. I do believe that you are enveloped in peace, perfection and divine love and that gives me peace. Josh & Christina and I will continue to help each other and we will make you proud. Iysabella is crawling now and she will know you through us. I love you, xoxo Mom
Heavenly Father, thank you for the 37 birthdays I spent with Ed. I was so blessed to have him that long and I grieve that he didn't have a longer life but I entrust him to You. Please tell him I love him and I stand on your promise that I will see him again one day. Please continue to help me to help Josh & Christina and help us continue to heal. In Jesus name. Amen
 

Replies

Abotsd
Abotsd

Your \"season of grief\" should be brief, and bring you solace and comfort. There is no avoiding it, I\'ve found out. You give so much to others, it\'s sad that your mother and brother can\'t reach out. My sister and brother were the same, are the same, cannot fathom the depth of our emotions. poor things, they lead a more superficial life. Enough said. I wish you a happy Jewish New Year, starting tonight, may you be inscribed in the book of life, love ya, abby
deleted_user
deleted_user

Unfortunately the people who really ought to be supporting us often don\'t. Their error and they will one day regret it. You did well this year. May God bless you as you continue to struggle with what is the worst thing any mother can bear.
annsullivan
annsullivan

{{{HUGS}}}
Aparoulek
Aparoulek

Such a sweet and gentle journal...I feel the peace in it. I also feel the pain you feel with Ed gone. Special blessings to Josh and Christina. I am holding you and Ed and your family close to my heart today. Love, Anne
deleted_user
deleted_user

Linda, I am glad that so many did remember and honor Ed on his special day. No matter how many or how little people may \"remember\" our loved ones, thankfully there is always One who will NEVER forget or forsake us!
I struggled very hard with the whole issue of \"remembrance and honor\" and \"made a significant difference\" in others\' lives. Clearly Eddie has wonderfully affected many!
With my children dying so young, there just wasn\'t time for them to achieve recognition from anyone but my immediate family (now deceased) ...and God! I am glad you are comforted by those that remember. That is a very real blessing!
Much love to you and dearest Eddie, Donna
ter1
ter1

Beautiful prayer Linda. I\'m praying you find some joy in your day and moments of peace. Terry
NoraMc
NoraMc

You did a nice job.....great job in honoring Ed...
love and ((hugs))
heartsandhands
heartsandhands

Dear Linda,
I know what you mean about not having to comfort your exhusband. Sheesh. I\'m glad the birthday was sweet and gentle. Wishing there could be so many more... together.
Love, Sarah
Sandi2947
Sandi2947

I am glad Ed\'s birthday went smooth for you...the first year for me on Ken\'s birthday went much easier than this year..Maybe because I now feel..That is what someone what..Wishing you some more soft times...
deleted_user
deleted_user

You are loved by many. Standing on the promises will see us through til that day...Yes, Ed is in real comfort and perfection...the sting of death has been removed for him....but for us the reality of absence is overwhelming. God be with you each day as you remember the gift known as Ed.....love to you always...dale, brandon\'s mom
JennsMom66
JennsMom66

I\'m thankful that those that would have made you day harder stayed silent and away and that you were surrounded by love..
{{{Hugs}}} MaryLou.
ihart
ihart

Hi Linda,
Birthdays and angel dates still trigger me . My logic says my son is gone on all days so why do I empower those 2 days as more significant??? I think I allow more memories and those are culprits in how my feelings will be for the day. I am now on 5 years and I must say it has gotten easier for me. I also know that when I feel down it will not last as long as it used to . Linda you have passed the second year and are bound to have more acute feelings but I also feel you are showing insight and that will take you a long way. Hugs, Inga
deleted_user
deleted_user

Linda, I hear peace and gentleness ripple through your words and I think the longing will always linger in our minds and in our hearts. It is a \"not so subtle\" reminder of how greatly we gave love, how sweetly we received love and how acutely we feel the loss of it. Peace and Calm reigning with you...Love Suzzanne
PLA58
PLA58

The season of grief is just begining for me. From Oct - Jan. My son loved Holloween, he helped me cook for Thanksgiving his Angel date in Dec and his birthday in Jan. You are correct in saying \"season\"
Be hopeful, it is the grandkids that keep us together....
Hugs Penny