Eavesdropping
Today my son had a basketball game and I was talking to two of the other Mom's that were there. Just to get a clear picture, the other Mom's are the high maintenance type. One is married and the other is divorced not that that matters but they both would never leave the house with out the right amount of makeup, jewelry, and accessories. Meanwhile I look presentable but I don't have my designer clothes and accessories on (nor do I have them). Anyway, the conversation was about high schools and they started talking about private schools. This was my cue to get out so I just inched away a little. The next thing I know they are talking about another Mom that we all know who has a son my son's age. This women has 3 boys and I'm not sure what her story is but I know that she is divorced and lives in the family home and doesn't work. It's a big 3500+ home. Her ex lives in the next town over and has an even bigger house. Over the summer we went on a baseball trip with our kids to Cooperstown NY. There I found out from this women's ex that he met his current wife at work and has a 3 yr old daughter. This family seems to have an amicable split because the two ex spouses still sit and talk at games.
Back to the basketball game. I over hear these two mothers talking about how they can't believe K is still friendly with ex H and how they can't even be around him when they see him. They went on and on about how he makes them sick. They were talking about how K is such a strong person, etc. Me not knowing what happened but can only assume especially after going through H having an A. I'm thinking that maybe that is what happened. It bothered me hearing these two women speaking like that and wanted to tell them they have no idea what they would do until they actually went through something like that.
What I think really bothered me about their conversation is that they were talking about it in a public forum and that other people including myself could hear them (and these were two of her good friends). It made me realize how that could be me and I don't want anyone to judge me on my decisions and I don't want to be a topic of gossip. I was hurting and angry for this woman.
Then I also wondered about how I felt about this woman's ex. Before knowing the whole story I offered to have my daughter and myself watch their 3yr old. I'm not taking sides and I don't want to judge but I wonder after going through a betrayal can I separate my feelings and what I'm going through to be friendly with this other family? It hasn't come to that yet and my H is saying I'm analyzing about something that may never come to be but that is me I like to prepare so I don't get put in an uncomfortable position.
Back to the basketball game. I over hear these two mothers talking about how they can't believe K is still friendly with ex H and how they can't even be around him when they see him. They went on and on about how he makes them sick. They were talking about how K is such a strong person, etc. Me not knowing what happened but can only assume especially after going through H having an A. I'm thinking that maybe that is what happened. It bothered me hearing these two women speaking like that and wanted to tell them they have no idea what they would do until they actually went through something like that.
What I think really bothered me about their conversation is that they were talking about it in a public forum and that other people including myself could hear them (and these were two of her good friends). It made me realize how that could be me and I don't want anyone to judge me on my decisions and I don't want to be a topic of gossip. I was hurting and angry for this woman.
Then I also wondered about how I felt about this woman's ex. Before knowing the whole story I offered to have my daughter and myself watch their 3yr old. I'm not taking sides and I don't want to judge but I wonder after going through a betrayal can I separate my feelings and what I'm going through to be friendly with this other family? It hasn't come to that yet and my H is saying I'm analyzing about something that may never come to be but that is me I like to prepare so I don't get put in an uncomfortable position.
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