Eating Disorder Trigger!!!!

I am very triggered to binge and purge right now.  I feel like a complete failure and i feel like a nobody.  I want to lose some weight and i just made myself breakfast this morning and then before taking a shower i purged it.  Then just as my mom was driving me back home, she compared me with my 7 year old niece. How my attitude and ways are like hers. I am very ashamed of myself and i feel the need to binge and purge.  i feel like i want to throw up blood but I've never done that before.  I'm up to the point where i don't really care anymore.