Easter Weekend

5 years ago on Easter Weekend, Ryan passed over.. Except Easter was April 14, 15, 16th, five years ago.. Easter hasn't been on that weekend since...I remember telling Ryan & Erica, Easter was my favorite holiday. Making up easter basket with really pretty cellophane paper with spring, nature, and life was coming around again, year after year.. I have a picture with Ryan 5yrs old, Erica 1 yr old sitting on the floor next to their easter baskets and they both had chicken pox..When I came across that Picture, it was like it was yesterday..You know, I don't know why in those younger years we always wanted time to pass. NOW, I wish we could go back in time..I pray so much for all of us Moms to become Happy with where we are today!!!Everyday!!! I'm soooo tired of feeling so heart broken... Even though its been 5 yrs now, I am way better now.. Once the leaves start to grow and the grass and flowers come out, I go on feeling alive with Ryan right by my side, doing what I'm doing at the time.. I play & feel full of love, and know his spirit is inside me again, it makes me happy thinking, especially feeling he is alive in well in me.. I feel my best when I feel him inside me, bc he is me..You Know!!!!
Happy 5 yrs in Heaven on Easter Weekend, my love, Ryan, I Loves you sooooooooo muccccch! It kills me, not having you here with me..I still to this day cannot ACCEPT YOU NOT HERE ON EARTH WITH ME & YOUR FAMILY.. I know so very much inside my soul, You Ryan went before me and are up there in heaven to over look your family & friends..I really feel this, I know you, my bestest Son Ever... I missssssss yooooou sooooo mucccccch, LOVE YOU, MOM