Easter et. al.

It has been an interesting weekend.  My ex had gum surgery on Thursday and I picked up my son from school and took him to dinner.  When I dropped him off, after discussing my ex's surgery and her pain level, she invited me to dinner on Sunday, and mentioned that it would have been our anniversary.  I accepted, but didn't set any expectations around it for a change.

Saturday, my step-daughter asked me to help her pick up bicycles (hers and my ex's) from the shop.  I agreed to help as I have a mini-van.  ed me that she had forgotten to ask me to look at her printer that had stopped working, and I said I would look at it when I dropped off the bikes.  She said "So [step-daughter] asked you to help?" and I said yes.  She replied "Good.  I suggested a little positive outreach might be good."  I'm not sure what to make of that.  The last time I was out with my step-daughter was when I was getting their Christmas tree and putting it up for them as my ex was in Florida.  That seemed to go fine.

Sunday, my ex hurt too much to cook, so I placed a take-out order for Indian food and brought it to the house.  It turns out it was a congratulations party for my my step-daughter's boyfriend who just got a job offer in another state.  There was discussion of what to negotiate, etc. and baloons, etc.  Nothing about our anniversary.

In a private moment I wished her happy anniversary and she replied "Not exactly.  I don't think that applies."   So, there was no sentiment behind the invite.  As I hadn't set any expectation around it, I wasn't hurt much by it.  It did leave me to speculate though whether "positive outreach" and a dinner invite had to do only with needing my help and advice.  I'd like to think not, but who knows.

Last night was my night to have my son, but my boss called a 5:00 meeting that went to 6:30 and I couldn't get him until 7:15.  When I got there, my ex had cooked dinner and asked me to grab a plate.  It was really appreciated.  I was hungry and tired.  I had a nice meal and then left with my son.

For Easter, we traditionally hide eggs for my son and his cousin.  I find myself wondering if I am invited for Easter or not.  I think I am, but nothing has been explicitly stated.  Christmas did not go well, as I upset her by drinking vodka (I am not a drinker at all).  I did not misbehave nor say anything rude to anyone, but her father is a recovering alcoholic and her step-father is an alcoholic, so it was noticed that I was drinking and it upset her and she asked me to leave.  I hadn't considered that impact.  So...  Will that spill over into not being with my son for Easter, or will that lapse in judgment be forgiven.  I don't intend to drink at all - my norm.

On the other hand, although she divorced me and I moved out in April 2014, at Christmas, we were still in a weird reconnected relationship, but no commitment at all on her part.  I enjoyed seeing her often and enjoyed our intimacy.  I enjoyed seeing my son often.  I hoped it would lead to more - to reconciliation or even just some commitment even if we lived separately.  That was not her plan though - it was just my fantasy in my head.  I read too much into things - like her buying a hair dryer to keep at my apartment just before Christmas, and I set my expectations too high.  That all ended after Christmas when she told me things had changed and we were done.  I packed up her stuff and dropped it at her house.  That was almost as painful as the initial divorce.

So, will I be included in Easter?  Here's hoping.