Early morning,and I'm not sure why I'm at my desk

Good morning journal,the time is now 7:56am,I have been awake for two hours,and after copious amounts of coffee I have decided to come here,although for the life of me,I can't tell you why.I feel very strange this morning,very slow and lethargic,my mind is confused,and I am finding it very difficult to concentrate or focus on any one thought for more than a second or two.I am finding the ability to maintain full control of my mind difficult to manage,and I am really struggling to compose sentences and phrases to describe how I am feeling,this isn't me,I know it isn't me,but I seem powerless to be able to change my thought processes,or to slow down the seemingly breakneck speed that my brain is operating at,or the thoughts that keep rushing in and out with barely a second or two of real time passing between one thought and the next.Usually, I love this early part of the day,but this morning I find that I am craving company other than my own,why?,I have no idea,am I afraid?,I honestly don't know,but I do know that something is making me feel slightly paranoid and unsure of what to do next.I find myself continually having to look behind me,what am I looking for?,I don't know,but you know when you have something on the tip of your tongue but you can't quite pull it to the front of your mind?,that's how I feel.I feel very shaky,both physically and mentally,and I'm seemingly unable to take control and change any aspect of my current condition,I am aware that I am consciously trying to slow my rate of breathing,with very limited success,as my breathing gets faster due to the state of mild panic that I am feeling,and continue to feel,despite knowing that there is nothing in our home that I have to be afraid of.I feel very vulnerable but I don't know why,my sense of equilibrium and balance is very much off center,I am aware of it,I just can't do anything about it.The voices in my mind are talking quickly,and seemingly all at once,and I feel both startled and confused at the same time,I need them to slow down and let me hear what they are saying but it isn't happening,I need to breathe,I need to slow my heartbeat,I just don't know how to do it,it is a bit scary,yet I don't know why I feel afraid.I need to move,I need to get up and walk around,I get the feeling that if I continue to sit still something will happen,I don't know what,I just know something will,and it is making me afraid.So journal,I am going to get up from here and move around some,until next time then,please God walk with me.