E Crack
Big Bro's social breakthrough this weekend ended with him looking a bit like a junkie who has been sober for a while, then found a taste of their drug of choice. He was spitting hate and venom when his friend's parents dropped him off last night. He came in, let us know how much he hated us and wanted to be with his mother's family. E games and smart phones are all they do there. Who needs a life outside the box? He calmed enough to pass out after he called the other grandparent house to talk to the mentally impaired uncle who is his current gaming idol. Calm enough to pass out, butnae calm enough to be civil to non-gamers. The friend's parents were a good deal later than expected in returning him. I fear it took them that long to get him to relinquish the game controller. Guessing from Big Bro's ugly mood when he arrived, I am wondering if they had to get heavy handed about getting him to relinquish that controller. Just wondering. Facts currently unavailable.
As the school Monday wake-up approaches, the morning calm remains, but I am fretting over how peacefully the gaming wizard is sleeping. My long, bloody herstory with addictive behavior and depression sleepers has my hyper-vigilance rearing its ugly head. **They** always look so peaceful until The Sacred Sleep is disturbed. Which reminds me anew that ES turns 40 today. **If** I send him a birthday text, it will probably say nothing more than, "Happy Birthday, Son." I am far from certain our current relationship can handle even that much communication. I havenae a doubt he is busy with that Sacred Sleep. Sleep is his Higher Power. Has been for quite allot of years now. Plying detachment tools now. . . Aside from the ownership responsibilities on the house he co-opted as his Church of Sleep, none of that is mine to sort. He is 40 now and a wa-a-a-ay bigger *boy* than Nature intended.
Hm-m-m-m-m. . . Guess I better get my fingers off other people's proverbial pulses and take my own pulse. Psycho nag flags galore this morninng. Conjecture, projection. sarcasm and counting to start the list. Plying therapy tools to multiple symptoms remains somewhere between difficult and impossible for me. Pulling out the Mindfulness drawer of my toolbox. **Just** gently observe and see where the cycles cycle to. It's okay to wish I didn't **have to**. I wish I didn't have to take my morning dump, either. While I'm wishing. . . Never mind. . . Onward through the fog.
Breathing. . .
Replies
I wonder why Big bro was acting like that? I think hes just trying to hold onto whatever control he can have. I am sorry that it was directed toward you. Happy Birthday to your ES. I know it hurts not to have a relationship there. Id send him a text or call..dont give up. I know how hard it is to keep trying. Prayers and Strength Arfie and a hug from one mom to another.
Hmm this is a worry. Is he acting up and testing you because of all the turmoil in his young life so far? My own grandson is traumatised and anxious and yes he wants the iPad like it’s a drug. Is there any chance of your boy seeing a child psychologist? Sometimes love just isn’t enough and professional help could ease your burden a bit too. Yours to sort but support here while you figure it out.
Game and electronic device addiction seems to me to be as rampant in this generation as cigarette addiction was in mine. As different as they are, both relate to anxiety. I was a two pack a day smoker self medicating my PTSD anxiety with nicotine from age 14 until I got COPD. Game and electronic device addiction starts at much earlier ages now, and it's not a a lung cancer and emphysema risk but it is having an effect on folks, apparently more socially as to how we do and don't get along with each other. It took a long time to get to the bottom of what tobacco was doing, so of the unique challenges, arfie, for people of our generation to help young folks out with this until we figure out what the game and electronic device addiction endgame is (pun intended). Lots of support to you for patience with this, I have to deal with it every day in teaching community college class. While guarding your anonymity, I asked for prayer for you from the pulpit at the church I serve yesterday. Hoping Gnarly Old D******* is by your side today.
I theorate that addictive behavior can manifest in countless forms. The more heads I see bowed over their glowing screens and triggered to irrational behavior at any interruption to their worship, the more I wonder if it is **just** the newest fashion drug. Just theorating. . . Fact is, ^it^ is a brand new ^it^. Give me a word for ^it^, please.
Just wondering while I wonder if I really want to know. . . Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
The verifiable fact is that Big Bro woke up in fine form and the school train launched is fun style. The friend's mother(?) has been texting to let me know how happy she(?) is that the boys connected. Her English is awkward (Marshallese is her first language) but she appears to be a texting demon. I have yet to inform her that my dumb phone garbles her cutsie icons. It's the thought that counts. I am under-confident that it is the mother who is texting because I have already seen evidence that the family shares phones quite casually. Isn't that even odder than sharing cars these days?
As an old lady who remembers the days before I became an E addict some twenty years ago. The old pong game was nice but my first computer was like the drug I had to, still have to fight with to get two steps away from. Now I can even carry it with me.
I am wondering if conditioning might help... like talking to them before they can play a game, saying " this is just a game let's keep it fun " maybe play a board game first, like candy land and get them to be happy for the winner but glad the others are there to play with too. Only play e games when they have to go somewhere they want to go, like swimming and dance or a ball game so they have to have an end time and fun exercise right after.
Good luck with whatever you try. If you find something that works it will be worth the effort.