dysfunctional behavior

why do I keep making stupid mistakes and then end up feeling like crap afterwards!!!!my ex husband use to call me a stupid whore, nice if we make that mistake once that doesnt make us a whore.... ok I am trying to convince myself....why do I always find these guys that treat me like crap don't I deserve better? if someone likes you then you shouldnt have to chase them....  ok I am going to listen to my song and then go to bed...... hopefully sleeping will come more easier!!!!