Dying

I found out last night that my stepdaughters friend is at Children's Hospital in Milwaukee fighting for her life, dying of lukemia.  She was over hear every day last summer.  I thought of her like a daughter, she was here so much.  She had a bone marrow transfer and it didn't take.  She is only 15 and would have been going into the tenth grade.  Now my step daughter went up today to say goodbye.  How do you say goodbye to people that are fighting for their lives.  I did that once before with my best friend.  All the memories of her are coming back.  She died back in 94 and I am just getting over here death.  Tomorrow is supposed to be my first day back to work.  However, the doctor still wont let me work due to the massive panic attacks that I am getting.  Then today my best friend tells me that she owes money back to the government and she wishes that she had an insurance policy so that she could find a way out so that her family could get the money.  I can't believe that a person, my friend could put a price on her life.  On top of that I have to have surgery on the 10th.  On top of that my husband is pissed at me today because the doctors office doesn't have the family medical leave papers done yet.  It is not my fault.  When in the heck do things start going better and when does the pain go away.  Oh yeah, if you are a guy like the one last night that sent me his own personal email to meet me, DON'T. I am not responding to anyone trying to hit on me.  How could this person even do that to someone that is hurting.  That is not what this site is for.