dumb me loaned anybody $ for last time
People who have: 1. lots of relatives. 2. lots of friends. 3. TWO girlfriends. 4. TWO vehicles 5. various fun, including going to concerts, shouldn't ask somebody who has none of this, for a loan...duh.
Dumb-me, easy mark son of easy mark parents, loaned $20 yesterday to somebody who lives about 10 miles away, with me taking $5 off the loan for a ride to local walmart about 2 miles away. I was able to stock up on stuff that I couldn't if I had taken the bus, but still...
Even before this, thanks to prior personal experiences, I believed that: nice people don't make personal loans; personal loans are a sign of contempt for the person willing to do the favor. A lot of people with plenty of friends and relatives always make sure to loan money off somebody who doesn't have friends and relatives, cause they have a better opinion of their relatives and many friends.
This is definately the last time for this; there's somebody in my hometown I avoid cause he would routinely ask me for a loan, though I avoid him cause I'm ready to flip out to him and a 3rd deadbeat from my past. One of the last times I loaned this second guy money, was when he drove me to a grocery store---with the money, SECONDS LATER, going into a lottery machine! There's discarded lottery tickets all over my hick town, the way some urban ghetto has discarded needles and crack vials.
Dumb-me, easy mark son of easy mark parents, loaned $20 yesterday to somebody who lives about 10 miles away, with me taking $5 off the loan for a ride to local walmart about 2 miles away. I was able to stock up on stuff that I couldn't if I had taken the bus, but still...
Even before this, thanks to prior personal experiences, I believed that: nice people don't make personal loans; personal loans are a sign of contempt for the person willing to do the favor. A lot of people with plenty of friends and relatives always make sure to loan money off somebody who doesn't have friends and relatives, cause they have a better opinion of their relatives and many friends.
This is definately the last time for this; there's somebody in my hometown I avoid cause he would routinely ask me for a loan, though I avoid him cause I'm ready to flip out to him and a 3rd deadbeat from my past. One of the last times I loaned this second guy money, was when he drove me to a grocery store---with the money, SECONDS LATER, going into a lottery machine! There's discarded lottery tickets all over my hick town, the way some urban ghetto has discarded needles and crack vials.
Replies
Yes, that would burn me too. You are not dumb though, as you loaned somebody money and you didn\'t exactly know what would happen, did you? I can remember loaning a person my laptop about 3 years ago, and guess what? I never got it back. Things happen, but it does not mean you should call yourself dumb. The dumb one was the one who spent it foolishly. Hugs to you
Loaning money is a risky thing for sure. We don\'t loan money to friends or anyone or borrow from anyone other than the bank!
If we have received money it is a gift and not expected to pay back.
The only people we do help out is our 2 sons and that\'s often just giving not lending and not expecting repayment. Sons are good at paying back if we stipulate re-payment but we are going to stop the helping out as we have our own finances to take care of.
I think borrowing and lending money between friends and family can create issues for sure.
And if you aren\'t exactly flush with money yourself its not like you can afford to lend money. I think you need to take care of yourself and that\'s not being mean or anything like. It\'s being smart and protecting your assets.
Please don\'t feel badly about loaning the money out. you did what you thought was right at the time. It came from your heart and that\'s a nice thing on your part.
You know now that you can\'t do it anymore and that\'s the last time.
That\'s good you have come to that realization.
Be firm in your position and don\'t let anyone sway you otherwise if someone comes sniffing around for $ again.
Good decision. Period! I have given gifts and bartered for stuff and that has worked out well for me. But loaning always seems to stir up bad feelings of some sort. I have found most ppl who ask for loans are deadbeats. If someone really needs my help I will OFFER it on my own but when ppl hit me up for money it ticks me off.
One exception comes to mind. Hubbies mother asked for our help. I thought she really needed it. He sends her a check once a month. Found out she spends it on stupid stuff she does not really need like cheap jewelry and other dumb trinkets. Oh well. I got out voted on that one!
Lucy570,
I REALLY couldn\'t handle not getting a computer back after loaning it to somebody; i\'d be ready for a real heart attack. Though, maybe I\'d be too paranoid to loan it out, cause I\'d be too worried of somebody checking out illegal sites.
Naturegirl65,
Yeah, I am finally gonna be firm about this loan; I was even talking to him in a cynical way after the loan---cause when he tried this in Feb I said no to him, and vowed never to even bother with him.
He\'s another, in a long list, of people for me to avoid. No such thing as a free lunch---for me its a car ride somewhere; I always wind up paying, mentally, for a car ride somewhere.
TrojanThunder,
Well, at least I\'m not alone, or cynical, to know that a lot of people who ask for personal loans really don\'t need the money.
Minutes after I wrote this journal, I realized it was PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE of me! I really am messed up enough to silently ALLOW people to treat me like dirt---and then I come onto this site to complain, here, instead of to the actual person.
Months before this, I thought how I was beaten into submission when I was a kid, with teachers back in elementary school at the time legally able to slap a kid across the face if he--ME--said the wrong thing. So, I still let some conversations go dead, cause I\'m afraid of saying sometthing and getting slapped?!
My new, nutty, therapy, for dealing with such stuff = find a song to download to get me over it. I\'m gonna be downloading \"Another One Bites the Dust\"; another person out of my life.