Dude just doesn\'t get it! or does he?? That is the question
OMG yesterday I made it through the day without any contact with "HIM" my drug addict ex boyfriend (I have to keep realizing that his IS my EX and IS a DRUG ADDICT (perscription drug or not, it rules his life!). This morning I got a text from him, used to be our thing to text each am to say love you, have a nice day... Anyway, as if nothing happened I get the text "Good morning, hope you have a nice day", WTF!!! I caught him a week ago with his ex (his drug connection, I am sure, no proof). He admitted he had seen her the whole nearly two years we were together. Never offered to stop, only said he was sorry I got hurt and that he loves me. He is not sorry he did it, just the the gig is up and he got caught! Anyway back to the text, my heart skipped a beat and I struggled as to what to do. Write back or not and what would I say? I settled on just an unhappy face with tears. This mofo actually wrote back "What is wrong"? WTF!!! What does he think!!! When I got to work I sent him an email explaining once again the pain that he had caused and that the last two years of my life and the future I had planned for us had all been a lie! etc...etc... He wrote back "what brought this up?" I continued to explain and he tried to flip it on me and make him the victim!! "Are you done making me feel bad"? he asked? Hell no, I have only just begun! He actually thinks I am so weak that I would have him on any terms! Let him do whatever he wants and be the loving girlfriend again. He IS on DRUGS!!! He even mentioned "My being insecure". I told him a cheating, lying as*hole can add to that in a person but I am not insecure!! I know I am worth so much more and I plan to stay away until he is replaced or he realizes his problem and addresses them (yea right!). Why even spewing all of this courage am I still tempoted to go call him and talk sweet to him just to be in his arms again?? I know I am blonde but come on!! He is hoping my love for him is really a NEED like his drugs that will bring me back in his terms. NOT!!! Do you think he gets it and is cleaver or he really doesn't get it at all? I told him nothing has changed for him. He knew reality all along, mine was the life turned upside down and he should at the very least give me the respect to morn a love lost that was real to me without acting like it was nothing. I want to scream!!! Good news I can feel the love dying and the hate coming!!! Hurry up please before I go for one last booty call (damn he was good) and start back at square one!!!
Replies
I know just how you feel, and how he feels. mine was kinda the oppsite. my husband is OCD and tried to make me his perfect wife with the perfect house and the be the perfect mother and in the midst of it had me arrested twice because i had to much to drink and claimed that I was the one with the problem. Screw him, maybe if he had any concern about me he would start to try and fix himself. I don\'t know why they never think that maybe there the ones with a problem and need to change. GO FIGURE!
I was reading something about intermittant conditioning...the example it gave is when your ex goes away, but will erratically contact you and give you some kind of \"positive or loving\" attention. It said that those connections are the hardest to break with because you always hold out that hope for the next contact...as opposed to those other relationships that just end and there is no more contact. Does that make any sense? Don\'t think I explained it very well... Sounds like in both our cases...the men do that.
Don\'t do the booty call!!! I thought about it the other night when I was at Bill\'s, but decided not to..I was proud of myself the next day. (He was really good too!..don\'t you hate that!..makes it worse! LOL) Anyway, I think I would have been upset with myself the next day because it gives a subconscious signal of hope when there are still emotions attached. That is my opinion anyway. I hate text messaging...sometimes I do it compulsively since it is so convenient and then I regret it later. sucks.