DUCK! Another wrench!
I have 3 dogs. One dog, a large border collie, is VERY friendly.
And I have a neighbor... an alcoholic neighbor who goes through extreme mood swings. (yep, another one)
My friendly border collie runs over to the fence to see my neighbor for a petting. One day, about 4 months ago, he ignored my dog and my dog barked to let him know he was there. My neighbor jumped - as usual, he was drunk - and started swearing at my dog.
At this point, my neighbor "trained" my dog to bark at him every time they're both outside... and my neighbor screams obscenities back. My dog would run to the fence, not get a pet, bark, and then obscenities come. So my dog thinks that's what he was supposed to do - after all, my neighbor is barking back - and now my dog just runs to the fence and barks right away - and more obscenities. When I saw what was happening, I immediately tried to stop the situation. I ran out to discipline my dog, tried to be out there whenever I saw my neighbor outside to keep things under control. But, my neighbor eggs things on. In the past 2 weeks, he lets loose with the obscenities on a daily basis, even when I'm out there to correct my dog, and yesterday it was in front of mutual friends. And it was EXTREMELY embarrassing.
So I tried to fix this even further. Through a letter (because I don't dare get near my neighbor with his aggressive behavior) I told my neighbor that I am willing to get a privacy fence as soon as I can afford it, and in the meantime, was getting training aids to work on my dog with and asked him if he'd help with the training - gave him a box of treats to use as he calmly corrected my dog (not swearing at him!) and the treats were to reward good behavior when it worked. It's such a simple behavior change that works.... I know, I was hoping for a miracle.
My neighbor didn't even bother to read my letter (SURPRISE!), wrote on it that my dog won't even let my neighbor pet him anymore (DUH!) and then made a threat. A small one that means nothing, but just the fact that this is accelerating when I'm trying to fix it, gave me red flags.... been here before with the X and his alcoholism.
So last night, I went down to the police department, let them know what was going on, told them what I was working on to fix it, told them about the threat just in case things get worse. And then I went home, worked on my dog with the training aids and after only 2 barks, he GOT IT! So, hopefully my problem is gone - or at least manageable.
And then, this morning, I got to thinking... this situation is very similar to my last post. Dealing with someone who has "issues"... realizing once again that I can't control or change other people's behaviors, as I only have control of myself.
Yep, I ducked this wrench (for now) and learned something (as I reminded myself of the similarities). COOL. I got this.
And I have a neighbor... an alcoholic neighbor who goes through extreme mood swings. (yep, another one)
My friendly border collie runs over to the fence to see my neighbor for a petting. One day, about 4 months ago, he ignored my dog and my dog barked to let him know he was there. My neighbor jumped - as usual, he was drunk - and started swearing at my dog.
At this point, my neighbor "trained" my dog to bark at him every time they're both outside... and my neighbor screams obscenities back. My dog would run to the fence, not get a pet, bark, and then obscenities come. So my dog thinks that's what he was supposed to do - after all, my neighbor is barking back - and now my dog just runs to the fence and barks right away - and more obscenities. When I saw what was happening, I immediately tried to stop the situation. I ran out to discipline my dog, tried to be out there whenever I saw my neighbor outside to keep things under control. But, my neighbor eggs things on. In the past 2 weeks, he lets loose with the obscenities on a daily basis, even when I'm out there to correct my dog, and yesterday it was in front of mutual friends. And it was EXTREMELY embarrassing.
So I tried to fix this even further. Through a letter (because I don't dare get near my neighbor with his aggressive behavior) I told my neighbor that I am willing to get a privacy fence as soon as I can afford it, and in the meantime, was getting training aids to work on my dog with and asked him if he'd help with the training - gave him a box of treats to use as he calmly corrected my dog (not swearing at him!) and the treats were to reward good behavior when it worked. It's such a simple behavior change that works.... I know, I was hoping for a miracle.
My neighbor didn't even bother to read my letter (SURPRISE!), wrote on it that my dog won't even let my neighbor pet him anymore (DUH!) and then made a threat. A small one that means nothing, but just the fact that this is accelerating when I'm trying to fix it, gave me red flags.... been here before with the X and his alcoholism.
So last night, I went down to the police department, let them know what was going on, told them what I was working on to fix it, told them about the threat just in case things get worse. And then I went home, worked on my dog with the training aids and after only 2 barks, he GOT IT! So, hopefully my problem is gone - or at least manageable.
And then, this morning, I got to thinking... this situation is very similar to my last post. Dealing with someone who has "issues"... realizing once again that I can't control or change other people's behaviors, as I only have control of myself.
Yep, I ducked this wrench (for now) and learned something (as I reminded myself of the similarities). COOL. I got this.
Replies
Well an alcoholic neighbour is certainly the last thing you need! You know though, your last but one journal entry is still fresh in my mind. Your attitude is great. You will get through these things and feel that sense of excitement again very soon.
Good for you!!
It is exciting when we see that we are learning to take a healthy approach to things, instead of falling into the old traps of our pasts.
It is great when we finally get it!! Well done!