Dual Grieving?

The question of which of my sons died first continues haunting me. Estrangement isnae a physical death, but it is the death of a relationship. My estranged son is still breathing, to the best of my knowledge, but he is less accessible to me than the son who died. The love and respect my dead son held for me lives on and fortifies me still. The love and respect from my estranged son died, whithered and blew off the vine long before he dubbed me Toxic Mom. That was many years before the tragic car accident this past September which left me with three orphans. My eldest son died first.

In my most recent grief surges, I have been letting myself grieve the loss of both sons. I am a childless mother. And life goes on.