drunk drunk me

well its me back again, finished work really tired as i started 7 in the morning and finished at6. very long shift that was as my friend elaine is off cos of sickness so i have to cover for her. tomorrow again same shift for all this week. i am feeling that my life is stopped at the moment and not moving at all. i just want to move out of all this clutter and go some where quite with no pain, maybe some sort of chineese herbs or sleep medication might help. i am so drunk now as since i come back i have been drinking so badly with my house mates and listening to different worldly music. i also like to listen greek music as i feel some time part of that wider greek network, well them are my dreams to be part of spartans, ha ha. i love movie 300 and also old spartans. one f the greatest i have ever seen. i love gladiotors too, i think its cool too, cos i like history. some time when  was a little child i used to close my eyes and dive into my past live being as one of the warrior. i sued to play at palace and free ppl from their problems, well these are my immigination. i am glad that i have not cut myself for some time. but it will start soon. why and how should i change myself as i cant what i am. i wish that i was never been raped, but then how will i know the pain? lief sucks. i am so drunk and still drinking even though i have to get up at 6:30 to start at 7:00 in the morning. but i dont really care. i am flying in the air at the moment. i can actually have a nice civilized tak at this time.well thanks for reading againchowwwwww