Drunk
One thing I am learning about living with an alcoholic is they always use every holiday and memory as an excuse to drink. Last night Joe drank again. He came to bed late andcstarted snoring in my ear. I shook him to try and wake him to roll over. Instead of doing so, he shook me back and went back to sleep. I got up and went and slept on the sofa.
He came home yesterday with alcohol on his breath. Id gone out and bought taco fixings for a couple he had invited over that has now backed out on his invite twice. The last time they came, he and the woman almost got into a fight. Yesterday he said that I was starting to look at him like his mother does wwhen hes drinking-I told him hes a grown ass man who can make his own decisions. With that, I have decided to drop him from my auto insurance and let him worry about it on his own. (Since of course, hes the grown ass man who can take care of himself). His insurance would cost as much as 4 bottles of the whiskey he buys. I ve decided im pulling back. Ive got to protect myself. If he doesnt like it, then ill be on my merry way.
Im enabling i realize this. There is no excuse for his behavior. Ive had enough and have saw the true individual for who he is. Just a smooth talking, irresponsible and angry drunk.
Replies
I'm pretty sure none of the drunks in my life need an excuse to drink. Drinking is what drunks do. K.I.S.S. K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Sweetie.
The only time they *need* an excuse is when *I* am demanding one from them. I'm studying on how to live and let live. They don't owe me an explanation for their strictly personal choices. Quid pro quo.
Hide your money, don’t leave your wallet laying around, if he has your credit card information look at your statements closely for any charges made. Not trying to be cynical just thoughts on further protecting yourself. Yes a smooth talking, irresponsible, angry drunk, and maybe a con artist/ grifter as well just from what you’ve described of him.
Man, he is such a liability.
Agree with Arfie. He’s an alcoholic- that’s what they do: drink. For me, it’s always been easier for me to accept and step away looking at it that way, rather than tryIng to reason it out. It’s pointless.
Your right-I'm just spending my mental energy now-thinking about how to break moving out to him. I just more exhausted being with him.
I find a straightforward rip the band aid off approach the best way with someone like that. There is no easy way and there is no spinning it because however you do it, whatever you say, it will likely be met with either anger, blame shifting, pleading, manipulation, etc. So tell him and mean it and don’t give him room to talk you into otherwise. Expect him to react poorly so you can steady yourself for that and not internalize it.
It is draining and exhausting. Like you said, he’s a grown ass man so you don’t need to concern yourself with how he takes it. Not your problem. You just have to concern yourself with you. I’m sure he was figuring out how to hustle to live before this all went down with you. He will figure it out again.
I know it's a very hard thing to do and you have time and money invested in him, and it's your decision to make and yours alone but whatever you decide, we will love ya just the same no matter.