Drowning in my own spit....
have u ever felt that u are drowning in ur own spit? like u are spiraling out of control cause u have no control over u or ur life ? thats exactly how i feel right now ! i am trapped, i am living with my sister once again, and i want to leave and go sooooooooooo far away- whats stopping me u might say, there are many things, Money, Car, and a Job... all things u gotta have to make it in this world- well atleast the money and the job, don't really need a car i suppose, but it would be good to have one, yes i am venting today so if u don't wanna read this- well its my journal so i don't care. yes i have choices, i could stay here and figuratively speaking-"drown in my own spit"i could go live with my friends and be miserable at their housei could move in with keith cause god knows thats how u want to start a relationship by saying oh btw i am moving in with u cause i'm miserablei miss my freedom, i miss having a place of my own, i miss doing what i want without thinking of my sis and her kids- does this sound selfish? i don't even care anymore- i just want my life back- me me me me me ! Mine ! ok yes i'm 5 years old again and its all about me- cause u know what- its never been about me- its always been about what i can do for others- i want my time-Brandi needs to be happy for once dammit ! not happy with what others tell me will make me happy ! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fucking hate my life! hate it sooooooooooooooooooo friggin much !
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