drowning

So I started setting up my classroom a bit early this year to keep my mind busy. I found out that the teacher next to me is now expecting. So immediately my mind went to "great now I have to watch your stomach grow every sticking day". I am happy for her but I started getting that sinking feeling in my stomach. The more I acted on the negativity that comes with infertility the worst I felt until I ruined my whole mood and cried and felt like crap for the rest of the day. I came home turned on praise and worship music and really told GOd how unhappy I was. Then, I decided to praise him for my babies. I yelled and screamed to drown out the thoughts of pity, discouragement and anger. I actually felt better afterwards and felt peace. I will get through this I told myself. Yet, sometimes do you ever feel like you are drowning in emotions and its physically draining? It stinks...