Drowning...

It’s amazing how quickly this all can pull you under once again. All and all a pretty strong, good few months and blam! All it takes is the knowledge that the “break” is coming to an end, but not knowing what’s next, hence some anxiety about getting back into it all. Add to that medical bills; hospitals and collection people who said that we wouldn’t go into collection and would “work with us” if insurance company doesn’t come back favorably to our grievance and I’m stuck out! Done…already! I can feel the emotion, stress and anxiety swelling in me like some sort of growth. I know I need to just get beyond the last couple days, keep my head above water and I’ll settle down and regain some perspective but right now, I just want to cry. Cry and looking adoption because at least with that we know we’ll get something in the end of all the money and frustration. That’s not a fair place to be, I have the right to be able to do anything psychical I want to try and do things “naturally” but the price they make us pay. Saddest of all of this is somewhere in my head I know I’m luckily to even have insurance cover any of this, but even then they certain make you work and “bleed” for it all the while threatening your credit if everyone else doesn’t do their jobs properly.