Drinking

So what most of my friends don't know about me is that I go to extremes with shit (being autistic). So that's a bit of back story to this journal entry.
 
I started drinking at age 18 because my roommate at the time was an ex bartender and let me drink at his parties. I am now 24 and have not drank in over 2 years, mainly cause we don't have anything but scotch whiskey in the house and I hate whiskey in general, and the fact I had to prepare for sex reassignment surgery.
 
Now my worst drinking binge ever:
4-6 cups of punch (lots of liquor ie. rum vodka triple sec, etc. but no taste of alcohol)
lots of jello shooters
And I forget if there was anything else
 
Now I didn't puke or have a headache the next morning. No I did not drink water or take a Tylenol (for those wondering).
 
I don't regret that binge one bit. It let me know what I could handle, and let me know I shouldn't do it on the regular basis because if I did I'd fuck up my liver. I also know a guy who drinks beer every night after work and has fucked his liver up and still drinks. That's not a motivator for me to have not started drinking, but it also is a motivator for me not to drink heavily on the regular, especially hard liquor. Now yes I do get drunk rather quickly, but I can hold my alcohol.
 
I have no plans to drink as of right now, however night before last, I was up thanks to a headache, and when I went to make myself some chocolate chai tea, I thought about having alcohol in my tea. But like I said before all we have is scotch and I HATE whiskey, so I didn't put any in my drink. We also have Everclear for cleaning stuff, but that shit is like 94% or so alcohol, and I don't feel like fucking myself up from it.
 
I have grown wise over my drinking days, still think about it on occasion, but as long as I don't have drinks I like in the house, I stay away from it. Yes, there is a liquor store down the road from me, but I don't go buy liquor, because I can't be bothered to go outside, either because it's too hot during the summer or because it's too cold during the winter. And fall/spring here is way too short.
 
To quote Five Finger Death Punch and this should be the theme song for most of humanity, but I use it for myself:
 
Arms wide open, I stand alone.
I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone.
Right or wrong, I can hardly tell.
I'm on the wrong side of heaven,
and the righteous side of hell.
 
I am a spiritual Wiccan by choice, having grown up in a Christian family, and been saved at age 10, but I am only human. We all have our personal sins, and drinking and going to extremes is my personal sins/guilty pleasures. I can extreme anything, be it drinking, or simply applying extremely hot hot sauces to my food. Fear doesn't motivate me. Manipulation doesn't motivate me neither. I am simply a different type of human. To get inside my head and know how it works will make you question how to deal with me, as those who live with me can attest to.
 
To close out this journal, I will yet again quote FFDP:
 
Lift me up above this
The flames and the ashes
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up above this
The broken the empty
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up
(skipping a few lines)
You can't convince me to change
We ain't on the same page