Dreams are getting more and more disturbing...
HORRIBLE nightmare last night... I dreamt my sister and I were walking with 2 other "nice" people who suddenly became serial killers. As they restrained her, they were telling me that I would have be the one to kill my sister... They left to get the weapons and I got an opportunity to save her, went to remove the restraints, and looked into her face and it wasn't my sister... it was ME....
Thank God I can control my dreams and immediately woke myself up. I spent the next hour pacing...
Because what was worse is that I understand what this dream is... the victim - me - is the part of me that was naive... the part of me that always wants to hide her head in the sand, eat nonstop because she can't cope... She's ME because basically, I'm destroying her....
What I mean by that, is that right now, I've taken a little break from the research to focus on getting my health in peak condition. And it's taking all I've got to do it... to stay focused.... FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. And because of it, I'm changing.... I'm becoming more fearless... becoming emotionally and mentally stronger instead of just physically. Yesterday, I broke my food addiction the rest of the way by getting rid of my "security blanket". Like a child losing a pacifier, I turned away from the foods I've been abusing and it left me feeling strong and yet emotionally weak at the same time. But the new me is determined to keep growing....and in the process I really think I am destroying the old me....
Man, I really hope these dreams go back to being nice again. Later.
Thank God I can control my dreams and immediately woke myself up. I spent the next hour pacing...
Because what was worse is that I understand what this dream is... the victim - me - is the part of me that was naive... the part of me that always wants to hide her head in the sand, eat nonstop because she can't cope... She's ME because basically, I'm destroying her....
What I mean by that, is that right now, I've taken a little break from the research to focus on getting my health in peak condition. And it's taking all I've got to do it... to stay focused.... FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. And because of it, I'm changing.... I'm becoming more fearless... becoming emotionally and mentally stronger instead of just physically. Yesterday, I broke my food addiction the rest of the way by getting rid of my "security blanket". Like a child losing a pacifier, I turned away from the foods I've been abusing and it left me feeling strong and yet emotionally weak at the same time. But the new me is determined to keep growing....and in the process I really think I am destroying the old me....
Man, I really hope these dreams go back to being nice again. Later.
Replies
I do too! but I have been having some bad dreams myself. they involve the X and my kids. I,however, no longer can remember them, so I can\'t explain them or ask you to help me explain. So maybe there is just something in the air at this time that is causing bad dreams! Whata ya think? No, I know you are right about your dreams and I do think it is a sign that you are growing and in growing you are destroying the old you. I wish I could realize that I am eating foods that truly are not good for me(as I sit here finishing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cheetos and a coke!!!)but I am not there yet. Someday soon....(((Hugs))) Things are getting better, just watch and see.