Dreams and Wishes
I was inspired by another's post of daydreams and a comment of missing out. You know once I start I cannot stop so I thought rather than hog up his post and go on endlessly that I ought to just do it here. I do often daydream. For me it is of things I never got to or will be able to do or have .(Bytes spoke of a void, I have 1 as well that I will never be able to fill...to feel life grow inside me and be blessed with a child) So One was of me going back in time... I married younger and both my parents were there. I had a happy marriage and was blessed with 2 children with grandparents there to share with them. For a brief second it felt good to imagine what that might have felt like.
I do also imagine different places.... maybe going back to vacations in Stone Harbor or the Bahamas (where we honeymooned). I'd love to be on some secluded island ( WITH NO POLITICS OR TAXES!) LOL or in a tiny house with an open floor plan in the woods or overlooking mountains or a lake.
I sometimes muster up courage to imagine things I never got to do but I still would like to. Sadly some are beyond me doing now and I can't help but feel a bit sad and angry because of so much time wasted following an unhealthy , paralyzing past. The thing is that I can still dream of things I want to do or see now. People I want to connect with that I may have pulled away from. That is as simple as a phone call or plan to catch up over lunch.
My ultimate wish is that I could be who I do feel like on here. Beyond my laptop I have confidence, am smart, silly, have incredible insight and compassiion for others. I would love to be able to find others who see beyond a stubby older body but still see the incredible smile and eyes with a devilish twinkle that says I am not dead yet and can still be a handful. (wink, wink) I have so much left to offer and just want to be able to do that... whether it is here behind my laptop or in the real world.
So what are some of your dreams or wishes?
Replies
well you mentioned one which is to have children I am the last male to pass on the family name.....now I am 66 yrs old and still men can have children at this age but I am never going to do that because I cannot afford to pay what would be required for raising them....and would do them harm dying while they are young and do not want to scar them that way.....
I would love to have a lake house with a boat dock and a gas pump for ongoing income from people on lake coming to gas their boats.....of course I would like that because I could be on the lake alot and popular person that way with the gas pump for those who have boats....of course I would like it where there are big fish like canada or alaska but that is a pipe dream itself isn't it? LOL
Today my daydream would be of having a partner or close friend to share my daily struggles. We would be in my house I own , maybe sitting by a fireplace or looking out a big window overlooking the lake lol or the woods money is not an issue in this daydream my home is my safe place
There is nothing I really want. I am happy with what I already have.
It's never too silly to dream or hope. Realistically our odds may not be so great, but I remember all too well what it feels like to simply settle and find each day a struggle because I felt beaten down, discounted and isolated. Just going through the motions is a horrible way to exist.
Bill...that sounds like a great dream to me and I would love to come and visit for a long time. haha Light the way.... I wish this every day to have someone special to share and care with. I think we are all human and have love to share. For me I spent so much time trying to care for and make happy many who were so screwed up and incapable of giving any emotion back.it is still hard sometimes.