dream with J..........**possible triggers**

so one of my abusers name is J......well his name STARTS with a J so i'll just use that......so in my dream, i was with at least 3 other women who were used by a man for sex......as i was....and we were all raped....our view on sex has changed becasue we feel like our job is to please the man, make sure that the man is pleased and know that WE are NOt supposed to be pleased.....we all experienced bondage when we were in a relationship with our abusers and we had all been through aobut one year of counseling.....we had made great strides in therapy and we all thought that we were ready to say "no" and end it.....well we all got wrist and ankles bonds that would tie us to the bed and gags as well.......all of our abusers came in the room looked at us-we weren't in bonds yet-and went to the bathroom to freshen up......well the last guy to come out was J......i was focused in my own world....i heard a few girls saying no and just ahving regular sex or their guy jiust leaving......J came over to me naked and he helped me put the bonds on my ankles and then my wrists.....somehow everyone left the room so it was just the two of us....immediatly i felt like i was in danger.....i knew i wasn't safe.....i struggled to get out of the bonds as J prepared the gag for me...."J stop..." i pleaded...."why???" "i don't wanna do this anymore....don't do anything....help me get out of these bonds, i wanna go back in the other room..." "no i'm gonna do what i want..." "no! J!! STOP IT!!!!" he looked at me disgusted, then put the gag on me.....i screamed and he raped me......and then it was hours later.....late at night.......i turned a corner and he jumped out at me.....he pushed me to the ground and said,"how DARE you say no to me!!! how DARE you!!!!" and then raped me again...............
it was weird and my antibiotics can cause weird dreams.....i dunno.....